Gorilla Justice

The situation appears hopeless for those of many that come out of prison with no help from anyone or anyone who cares what they need. Being a parolee under supervision appears to be an endless road that thousands have taken many times before as they keep coming back to prisons even though they try their hardest to stay out of the system’s firm grasp on their livelihood and destiny. Hard miles on their prison-made shoes; they tread lightly not to offend anyone as they seek their own little quiet space somewhere out of sight and out of mind so there is no interruption in the environment they have been released into by the prison administrators. This road to nowhere is not easily traveled without money or hope. There are many detours of severe difficulties as they try to overcome their obstacles to remain free from shackles and remain outside those huge grey walls of the prison they came from.

Society has attached stigmas to those who come from prisons. They are characterized as losers who can’t do anything right, steal from others, destructive and dangerous and easy to provoke as they have poor anger management skills that makes them easy targets to have fun with by those who resent ex-cons. Historically speaking, unless a released prisoner has family, money and a job to come back to, he or she is doomed for failure as there aren’t many employers out there inside society that will hire them. Even those who have skills must endure some level of discrimination as they are never paid the same as the others and treated indifferent merely based on the fact that they did time inside the joint.

Parole officers have little compassion for ex-cons and would return them to prison in a heartbeat if they could use their own ideals and values for such action. Good parole officers are hard to find and those who do a decent job supervising them must take into account the hundreds more on their caseload until they become so overworked and stressed out thus allowing their frustrations to govern their thinking and violate individuals for whatever reasons they can find to send them back to prison and off their caseload.

For readers who enter the field of criminal justice believing that people can change and wanting to have a positive impact, this book should provide hope and confidence for all involved. For those who came into the field believing that behavior change is unlikely and that the primary role of an officer is to enforce conditions of supervision through rigid monitoring and punishment, this book may offer an alternative humanistic approach to understanding the purpose of supervising offenders while on probation and develop empathetic qualities that will enhance your ability to supervise the offender. Probation and parole staff can indeed have a larger role than simply enforcing conditions; they can be the impetus for positive change that increases long-term public safety and allows men and women to change the behaviors of their clients as they assist them in their road to rehabilitation and change directions of their personal goals and achievements.

This is a story of a man who was brought up to be a good caring Christian and raised with all the right values provided by supportive parents and good surroundings. A war veteran who grew up and appreciated life to the fullest, giving back to it what it so preciously took from him. He was not a bad man or an irresponsible man. He was exclusively brave, intelligent and caring about his family, his friends and others. He had served his country honorable and wanted to settle down among friends and raise watermelons on a farm he wanted to buy and settle down in a straightforward attempt to be a responsible man of the community with qualities that demonstrated he was attentive to other’s needs, compassionate and giving. His associations were with those fellows to his church beliefs and town politics. If he dated someone’s daughter he would be described as being a “nice guy” and someone every girl wants to be her boyfriend. Never once described as a loser, an asshole, or a player, he was the kind of man others wanted to be. Besides being a good man and an honest man, he was also a gentleman. He rarely committed to any cause but when he did, he stood fast on his commitment without fail. He had no moral conflict with himself or others as he was a respectable man.

Was he a man gone wrong or mad when tragedy struck his life and he lost his wife and child in a car accident that was deemed to be his fault because of alleged negligence? Did he play by society’s rules and innocent or was he found guilty of a sin or a crime that was irreparable by those who judge others harshly on a double standard to say the least. Judging someone on a case by case situation will allow better insight of each and every human need in life.

This story will enlighten you on how a good man can go wrong and how the system plays into the dynamics of many men [or women] who go to prison because of circumstances beyond their own control and end up being judged as misfits, criminals and wrongdoers by a society that imposes hate, biases and other evil influences that makes this story a realistic reflection of the times as they are today in this agenda of mass incarceration and punishment for those who are labeled lawbreakers. Through the eyes of this man, one will experience what many can only read about or watch in a movie filled with theatrics, special effects and make believe.

Once upon a time, roughly or about five years ago, there came this man from hometown USA, who wanted to settle down in the greenest valley around and make it his home. He was a gentle man with big hopes of being a successful farmer someday. He had dreamt about a super harvest of some of the best crops of watermelons around the valley and other areas. Having thought about this personal goal of having a decent job, a nice home and a happy environment, Cyrus Grossman was more interested in having a healthy relationship with someone he loved than having money. Having worked hard as a youth and maintaining his personal traits along the lines of being practical and thrifty, he was not one to squander his money on things he didn’t need. He was filled with passion that motivated him to work hard and earn what you get by sweat, blood and tears as well as callouses on the working hands. By all definitions created, he was most certainly not a calloused hearted man but a loving caring loving man.

Born a Scorpio under the eight sign or the universe, his dream to be successful was filled with believing in himself and driving him hard towards his goal of achieving a quality of life and maintaining positive relationships with others. Cyrus had a level of optimism that was envied by many. His positive outlook on life was an important element of his ability to make things better and was contagious to those around him. His spirit created positive reactions and when he met the right girl on a date, his spirit was definitely something that would spark an interest in romance as in getting a second date with him. Cyrus was a great listener and would compromise on problems that seemed to resolve almost any disagreement. Learning how to deal with life’s curve balls and unpredictability, he was one to make quick adaptions of life’s circumstances. Working around his own ways of dealing with others, he could make changes that suited even the most difficult person he met.

His confidence was daunting and his strong personal traits were qualities sought after by many employers who wanted great workers or people who could handle anything that came their way. Not a megahuman but definitely a mega-dreamer, Cyrus Grossman was an ordinary man with a creative mind and great ideas how to begin a business that would make him happy and provide for him the needs of his life and quest for personal happiness.

Physically strong and built like an ox, he could break steel with his bare hands but was gentle and kind in the heart. Cyrus stood about 6 foot 2 inches and weighed about 180 pounds. Showing no fat by any means, he was lean in muscle as he had worked out with minor sized weights and often performed those exercises for the abdominal muscles, and bench presses and curls for the rest of the body fitness routines. Superb conditioning he maintained after his army ranger days, he was a fit specimen by anyone’s standards.

Raised by a peace loving family, he had signed up to volunteer to go to war and do his duty to God, country and family. After serving four long years as an explosive expert, he decided that he wanted to return back to civilian life and grow things for a living instead of blowing things up like he had been doing for the past years. Leaving his life as a ranger in the army behind, he had always daydreamed of coming home and becoming a farmer and planting large and juicy watermelons. Never talking much about his experiences in the war overseas, he seemed content to leave the past behind and begin afresh as a common man with proud goals. Only his family knew of his wartime experiences and all the medals he had received for bravery and courage while serving his country with honor. Not one word was ever said about his battles with post traumatic syndrome disorder and the personal trauma of losing his best friends by his side to the enemy’s bombs and booby traps.

Standing beside him was his wife of five years. Julia was with his child, as the two were planning to make a family of three on this humble homestead that he sought for so long. In his mind, he can remember when he first met her and saw her as the most beautiful girl in the world. Soon after they met at a baseball game, she became his girlfriend. Looking into her blue eyes he knew he had found the one he wanted to share the rest of his life with and treated her oh so tender as if she would break like a china doll if he held her too tight.

While away in the army, they wrote each other often and talked on the phone as much as they could be thousands of miles apart. You could tell how much in love they were by the way they talked to each other so softly along with intimate exhales and carefully orchestrated sighs.

Julie was smart and could take a job teaching somewhere as she had a knack for showing others how to do things and how to learn understand intricate words by simplifying them so they made more sense. She went to college or medical school for a couple of years but always expressed her desire and want to raise a family as she longed to be a good wife and mother to this man she loved so madly. Focusing on becoming a nurse, she failed her exam for her nursing license but passed it the second time around. She remembered that she was so nervous the first time she took the test, she freaked out when it was time to take the test she had studied so hard for during the past four nights preceding the exam day. Once she paid her fee for her nursing license, her plans to continue and work as a nurse somewhere in a nearby hospital were interrupted by the sudden and unannounced wedding proposal by Cyrus that sent her head spinning with thoughts of eternal bliss and happiness.

The two of them remember their wedding day warmheartedly and expressed their love in an exchange of vows written by each other to show how much they cared. As they conveyed their love and faith onto each other, the preacher pronounced them man and wife in front of their family and friends. Some who had traveled from afar to join them but never complaining about the trek as the wedding was most pleasantly arranged to provide comfort to all with good food and great spirits. As the music played, Cyrus watched from afar as Julie danced with his father in what was a most passing moment of the event. There she was dancing on the dance floor making Cyrus want her more and more as the music played softly their favorite songs. Friends had scribbled all over the rented car with soap and letting the whole world know they were “just married.” As the rental drove away the crowd shouted out gladly as they drove off into the sunset with each other’s love and trust to guide them through the rest of their lives.

Cyrus found a job at the hardware store as an inventory clerk and worked long hours. His minimum wage was frustrating to him as he expected to earn more to buy his farm. Saving what he could while he was in the army, he was lucky and managed to get a second job at the local gas station working during the nighttime so that he could rest a few hours in between work. The town was small with a dirt road main street. It was his careful planning of buying U.S. savings bonds that will keep the two afloat while he works hard to keep up with the bills and demands that this poor economy was imposing on unaware families that did not plan for the future as well as he did.

The culture was that of farmers and merchants that appeared to get along with each other quite well as the spirit was always lively and joyful. The town church was of Mormon favor and was a small two story white building that held almost two hundred people on any given Sunday. The pews were made of mahogany donated by a lumber firm in town and the glass for the stained windows had been bought in Spain where the finest church glass is made. The bells high above were brought a hundred years ago from a small town in Pennsylvania. There was another church down the road a bit but it was this little church where Cyrus and Julie felt most comfortable to sit and pray as they thanked the Lord for their blessings.

There in the center of the ecclesiastical floor sat the huge pipe organ that came all the way from Salt Lake City by the earlier settlers of this town. It was also gleaned they appeared to have brought many of their personal belongings to this little town. Over the years this town has grown into a community of well over two thousand residents where peace and happiness appeared to be a normal feeling. One could only guess how they managed to bring such a huge instrument so far back in those days. There inside the church he met his customers and made many friends along the way to give him a feeling of belonging to the community. There were a lot of festivities and the mood seemed always upbeat and joyful. The community was tranquil and celebrated holidays with much vigor as they loved to put up as many American flags along the parade route to show how much they loved their country.

On weekends the sidewalks would be filled with arts and crafts traders selling their goods to make extra money. There were no large chain stores or restaurants as the town got its charm from the ma and pa grocery stores and eateries. The biggest building in town was a clean looking six room bed and breakfast inn that catered to outside visitors to the town and those wanting to get away from the house over the weekend. Houses, surrounded by freshly painted white picket fences and kept up nicely offset the dirt road that served as the town’s main street. For years, the plans to have the road paved were never considered by the town council because of lack of funds to do such an expensive project and strong efforts to keep the property taxes low and reasonable for all to benefit from as this was basically a poor crop growing town.

Julie was a good girl. She was polite and dress moderately to fit into the communal culture that was traditional and somewhat reserved for women who did not wear the more progressive clothes that are worn in the big cities or suburban areas far away from this valley town. She was not always so sure of what she wanted out of life as her mind bounced back and forth between hope and apathy with a little bit of confusion in the mix to cause her some despair. She had always struggled as a little girl whether she wanted to stay here in this small town or move away after finishing high school.

Once she overcame her feeling of despair and falling in love with Cyrus, she began to look at life with a hopeful outlook that created longer periods of happiness for her despite some periods of despair in the mix. Life wasn’t easy for Julie. Her parents were divorced and she wanted to be with her father but he left town long ago and left her with her abusive mother.

Sometimes, she didn’t care as she dwelled in apathy about the things in her life but when she met Cyrus, something came into play that caused her to find a more permanent state of perpetual happiness and hope that something good was going to happen. She had always hoped that she would marry someday and find Mr. Perfect. Having dated a few men no so perfect, she knew that Cyrus was Mr. Right and that he would make her blissful and more confident as time with him went on.

Happy with what she had, she was taking good care of herself as the newborn would soon be joining Cyrus and her in the coming October. Together they had already picked out a name for the infant and decided that he or she would be baptized in the name of the Lord as Joseph or Mary. This is how they showed their new found their strength and the faith they had in their God. They showed their appreciation for the All mighty by naming their child after the parents of our savior, Jesus Christ.

Cleaning the tiny apartment daily, she had painted the infant’s room with bright colors to brighten the spirits inside that cradle of love, hand built by Cyrus in his spare time when he wasn’t working both jobs during the week. Times were rough and money was tight.

People were foreclosing on their homes as the small town and big valley were suffering just like everywhere else in the region. Food prices were high and the rent went up to make profits bigger for those fortunate enough to have places to rent out to make ends meet. Those unfortunate to be cast into poverty lived in the streets carrying what they could on their backs or bagging it up to carry it over their shoulders.

Crime in the small town was getting worse and people were desperate. They began stealing to eat and sell what they stole to make ends meet. Some were so abandoned and poor, they were sleeping in cardboard boxes and getting wet when the rains came, they suffered greatly. The town had no care centers like they did in the big city. There were no soup lines or places to sleep like they do at the Salvation Army centers that became home for many of the homeless.

As the economy plummeted even more than before, more and more people became unemployed and driven to poverty as jobs became premium and hard to find. Over time, the price of gasoline went up causing Cyrus to lose his second job at night pumping gas as the station owner had decided to work those hours himself to cut the costs and overhead of his business.

Cyrus knew that it was just a matter of time before he would lose his job in the hardware store as people were starting to panic and move out of town back to the city where they had families and better chances of finding a job.

Times were becoming worse and the rent was raised higher and almost twice more than it was once before. Cyrus was struggling to make ends meet and Julie saw the frustration in his eyes as pondered every evening what to do about his stressful financial conditions getting worse. It seemed clear that buying that watermelon farm was becoming farther and farther out of his reach as the price of land fell but the ability to come up with sufficient funds was harder as the cost of living was well beyond of what it was almost six months ago. Cyrus knew the baby would arrive soon and that he would need to make sure they had a warm dry place to live when the little one came home. Stressing nightly and counting his savings, he decided that it was time to make a change and take a chance in the way they were going to make it for the next few years.

The weekend was calm and the light breeze brought about it a scent of winter. The air was becoming more chilling and the dew on the ground early mornings gave way to light layers of frost and ice covered flowers. Far away, he could hear the church bell ringing as he was late getting up that morning as he stayed up late making plans for him and his family.

Sitting at the kitchen table, he looked into Julie’s blue eyes and said calmly to her, “you know I love you, don’t you?” Startled, Julie could sense a different mood she had never seen before and said to him, “of course dear, you know I do.” Staring at his plate, he raised his head and said to her “we are moving we can’t stay here much longer as the money is running out fast with the rent so high and the food so expensive.”

With a worried look and a frown on her face, she said to him “I hate to go but if you say its time then I trust you Cyrus. I understand what you are saying and will start packing today.” The mood was quiet and breakfast was simple. Two eggs over easy and a few strips of bacon covered the plate as they drank their coffee in silence.

Knowing well that the baby was expected almost anytime soon, Julie rubbed her bubbled belly and said that she wasn’t feeling well today and needed to lay down for a spell. Worried, Cyrus was becoming increasingly nervous as he kept asking Julie if she was okay and every time she said “yes, I’m fine” he would pace the floor and ask her again five minutes later as she finally told him to stop worrying and start packing.

The old truck was beat up and there was a little bit of rust on the bottom of the faded blue painted fenders where the road salt had stuck to the chassis after the first snow fall of the year a day ago. A few dents in the front where Cyrus had misjudged the distance when parking at the hardware store and a deep foot long scratch in the pain with a slight dent on the driver’s side when Julie hit the chain link fence backing up, it was a trustworthy vehicle and road ready to make the trip to anywhere Cyrus decided was good enough to start over.

The frost on the ground had turned into snow and with bald tires and tarp over their valuable goods, they headed for the road going southwest in direction looking for another place to settle down and make a new start out of their lives with baby that will soon be born as they traveled down the road towards the sunset. Julie had packed sandwiches, cold drinks and several baggies of snacks just in case they got hungry as she already knew that Cyrus was planning to drive at least for the rest of the day in not through the night before they rested and take a forty wink break.

Several hours passed as they drove through the grassy knolls and rolling hills that covered the landscape on both sides of the busy highway. The traffic was heavy and for every car that was on the road, there were at least two more eighteen wheeled semi-trucks buzzing around them at high speeds to make tight schedules and on time deliveries somewhere else far away from here. Looking up into the sky, Cyrus could see rain clouds forming and darken in color as they took away the remaining sunlight making the road hard to see into the early light of darkness. Little by little, there were sprinkles of rain drops falling and soon the sky opened up and let the rain come down with vengeance and no relief.

The lightening was frightening and the thunder was roaring a deafening sound that awoke Julie who had fallen asleep with the truck radio on low volume. She noticed that the windshield wipers were slapping in a tempo keeping rhythm with the music on the radio as they continued down this pitch-black stretch of highway that was covered with high water as the rain wouldn’t let up and the blacktop was hard to see where the lines where for the lanes that would keep the trucks out of Cyrus’s way when they passed at high speeds disregarding the heavy splash of water that fell onto the old truck’s windshield temporarily blinding Cyrus’s view of the road ahead.

Getting sleepy as well as road weary and drowsy, Cyrus started to nod off and falling asleep at the wheel. Turning up the volume of the radio, he tried to stay alert as the rain kept falling and the trucks were passing him even at higher speeds than before. The rain, torrential and exploding out of the sky, made a deafening noise as it hit the top of the truck’s cab.

Sensing he was falling asleep, Cyrus started looking for a road side park or rest area where they could park and take a long earned nap before the morning sun came up. Julie, feeling drowsy herself turned to Cyrus and asked him if he was okay. Cyrus nodded and told her he was fine.

Another hour passed as the drowsiness was increasing as the rain let up a bit and the roads were becoming more visible to see and drive in. the glare from the lights however, were blinding and interfered with his vision on the road. It also seemed that the huge semi-trailers were picking up speed as the rain nearly stopped and as Cyrus read the green road sign telling him there was a roadside rest area just six more miles down the road, he relaxed a little bit and breathed easier for he knew he would soon be able to close his eyes and go to sleep and rest for a few hours.

The old truck was handling the rain much better than anticipated as the bald tires were a concern to Cyrus. As he slowed down his speed to keep the truck from hydroplaning he held both hands on the wheel to steady his grip. Talking to himself to stay awake, he was trying to figure out how much gas he needed to their destination when the truck hit a deep puddle of water causing the tires to lose contact with the pavement.

Keeping his speed below 55 miles per hour, he was getting honked at by the faster drivers as they passed him with angry and vulgar hand signals out of their windows as horns blared loudly in disgust or protest for his watchfulness and trying to keep it safe. After all, it was safer to drive slower in the rain with bald tires than going faster as the water would cause the tires to lose contact with road and skid them out of control.

With the rain stopping, it became safer for the two travelers to continue on their journey as the road dried up even before the sun came up. Confident he was over the worst part of the rain storm, he increased his speed back up to 65 M.P.H. to make up for the time he lost going slower. Suddenly, without a warning, the rear end of the truck began to feel a little loose and squirrelly waking up Julie who was concerned that Cyrus had fallen asleep at the wheel.

Screaming at Cyrus she said to him “are you okay, are you okay, I’m scared and I think I am going to faint”, holding her head that was wet with perspiration. As the truck began to move a little from side to side, Cyrus felt a sudden pull at his steering wheel and as he tried to correct his sliding side to side he hit another patch of water that wasn’t very deep but wet enough to cause him to hydroplane and skid off the road into the median of the highway. Riding a bumpy berm and crossing into the deep grassy knolls, the tires began to slip even more on the wet grass as the truck became uncontrollable and shaking violently as if it was going to roll over on its side. Then without warning, the truck rolled over to its side and came to a standstill, still shaking and pulsating brutally as if it was going to explode.

Stopping a few yards from a concrete pillar that was the wall of a solid concrete bridge that spanned the highway, Cyrus looked at Julie and realized she was bleeding on her head. Frantic and scared to death for Julie’s sake and the baby she was carrying inside her, he crawled out the best to free himself so he could help her. Once getting out of the truck, he ripped his tee shirt to cover her head wound.

Desperately he was trying to get her out of the truck onto the wet grass and lay her down, holding firm pressure on the wound to keep it from bleeding so much.

The blood covered his hands as he tried to hysterically and desperately look for help outside the truck window as there were people rushing onto the scene wishing to help them in their time of need. Someone said to him to move over as they placed Julie on a blanket so that she was not lying on the wet cold grass. Minutes seemed like hours as someone had called for an ambulance and the police. It would have to be quick for Julie was not doing well and she was lying there unconscious and bleeding profusely.

Changing the bloodied tee shirt with bandages from a responding stranger’s first aid kit, the dressings in the first aid kit were quickly soaked with more blood as the gash on her head was just too much to stop the bleeding. In the distance, after about fifteen minutes of trying to stop the bleeding on Julie’s head, an ambulance was seen as its flashing red and white lights glared in the distance and a faint sound of a wailing siren indicated it was getting closer and closer to the accident scene. Surrounded by darkness and confusion, Cyrus knelt down to hold Julie in his arms as he softly whispered to her “I love you, I love you.”

The crowds had gathered and were whispering among themselves as if somebody had done something wrong. Distracted with trying to take care of Julie, Cyrus was unaware that a highway patrolman had arrived at the scene and was taking names of witnesses standing by the scene. As Cyrus was watching the paramedics work hard to revive Julie from her unconsciousness, someone yelled “she stopped breathing” and two men dressed in dark blue jumpsuits, opened up an orange plastic case that had two objects attached to dual wires come out and make a buzzing sound when turned on. They must have tried to restart Julie’s heart four times with this defibrillator pack with no success of restarting the heart muscles to give her back her life.

It was mayhem as their voices became muffled and unable to hear what was going on; Cyrus went into a deep shocking trance that was awakened by the highway patrolman’s hands shaking his sore and bruised shoulders to get his attention. Bleeding slightly from the hands and the forearm, he could not hear what they were saying but when they pulled a dark colored blanket over the face of the only woman he had ever loved, he broke down and cried as he was filled with grief and sorrow as he lost not only his wife this night, he also lost his baby still inside the womb of Julie and realizing for a moment, he had lost the two greatest and precious gifts God had given in in his entire life.

Something went terribly wrong that night. What was going to be a fresh start and a new beginning somewhere the economy wasn’t so bad and where Cyrus could find himself a good job to take care of his loved ones suddenly died that night along with his hopes, his dreams and his mind. Shocked and confused, he babbled to the police officer as he tried to answer the questions probing how this accident happened and how this mishap turned into a fatality that will forever change Cyrus’s life.


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