With divorce statistics so high creating trust in a newly blended family may seem almost unrealistic. Family trust is going to be whatever you as a family create. There are many ways to create trust in a family and with a little effort your family can be full of love and trust. Here are a few ways to get started.
Family Meetings
One way to create trust in your new family is with a few family meetings to make sure everyone is on the same page. During this meeting allow each person to share what they expect out of this family. It can be something as simple as brothers staying out of sisters rooms and asking before using each others things to honesty. Setting and respecting boundaries will go far in developing trust with one another.
Be Honest Yet Civil
While it is not acceptable to speak badly on one another, it should be allowed to state that you are hurt or it upsets you when something specific occurs to make you feel this way. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and no one has the right to say it is wrong to feel that way.
Brief Summary
After allowing each person to speak mom or dad should briefly give a summary of the meeting and what they feel has been accomplished. Agree on a day and time for the next meeting and end the meeting.
Building The Family Unit
Setting these meetings will help to build the family unit and create a unity as well as an opportunity to share complaints. Perhaps a young teen aged girl is uncomfortable with the step father picking her up after school. This should be an opportunity to safely share that feeling without being in trouble, and come up with solutions that all feel comfortable with.
Communicate
During the times between meetings communicate with one another frequently. Make sure to follow through on what is agreed upon during the meetings as well as what is agreed upon on a daily basis. Creating trust in this family is of the highest importance so it is imperative that things are followed through on.
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice
Remember that if you wouldn’t say something specific in front of someone, then you have no business saying it behind their backs. Don’t speak ill of your new family to anyone even if you are less than enthusiastic. Find ways to make a simple statement such as, “Its all so new I don’t really know yet” vs. “I can’t stand him (or her)”. If you don’t want someone to speak ill of you, then do not speak ill of them.
Keeping Secrets
If your step son asks you not to tell anyone that he is in love with the girl next door, respect his request. You want him to trust you. Unless the girl next door is pregnant and you know it was your step son, you probably do not need to reveal this information.
Developing trust can take a long time. Don’t rush it. Continue to prove yourself by doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it. Establishing trust will strengthen the family unit as a whole and help you to develop a good relationship with one another.