Betrayal of the Arms and Legs Leads to Bed Bath and Beyond

My hands, arms, legs and feet betrayed me this week.
As I prepare a delicious breakfast of hash browns using my Bullet Express purchased at the Bed Bath and Beyond, I ponder my strange relationship with that store and its mezmerizing hold over my limbs.
One of my most favorite stores in the whole wide world is Bed Bath and Beyond. They have the neatest, affordable things to buy. I like the store so much, I applied to work there. I did not make the cut. Call after call resulted in no job but instead a lot of nice conversations with a woman named Norma. In my opinion as a customer, she is the heart and soul of Bed Bath and Beyond. She is helpful, considerate and compassionate — in that she took my call all 47 times. Actually, everyone who works there is bend-over-backwards nice which is a part of the reason I like shopping there.
Needless to say when I found I did not get the job (which involves climbing ladders) I was indignant. I vowed never to shop there again and I meant that! A few weeks passed and I had the nerve to get a BBB mailer with a $5 off of a $15 purchase in my mailbox. Well, I looked at it on the way to the trash — not the main trash bin — the soft trash bin. In there, I put things I need to go through before a permenant dump.
A day or so later or maybe the same day, I and my mother were watching a program when the commercial for the Slim Away flashed across the screen. Of course I wanted it. I remember making a mental note to find time to hunt it down but I didn’t have to do that because that mailer stared at me for about a week before I picked it up and really parused it. They had the Slim Away.
Before I knew it, my arms and hands tore off the coupon and stuck it in my purse. Then, I threw the mailer away. I could have sworn I heard it say farewell, mon ami.
This week, my legs and feet drove my car out to the BBB and bought the Slim Away advertised on television and offered at BBB. Bed Bath and Beyond has all of the things advertised on television and usually on sale or at a discount. The Slim Away was $10, I didn’t have to buy two of them or wait for it to be sent to me or pay for shipping. But how could it be? Me shopping there? I vowed never to enter that store again or give them anymore of my money. How dare they not hire me — I love shopping there! And I am still shopping there.
I’m not going to fight it. I love to buy stuff and even when that store manager –who shall remain nameless — did not hire me and I promised myself to punish them by not shopping there, I still shop there because they have the neatest products on sale just like I like it. And they send mailers with coupons. I never figured my legs, feet, arms and hands to be such betrayers. Nor did I realize they knew how to drive. I guess my limbs know better than I when I need an as-seen-on-TV waist-nipping, weight loss thingy.


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