Beautiful Vancouver!

VANCOUVER ‘BY THE NUMBERS’

The city of Vancouver, British Columbia by most accounts is one of the most scenic cities in North America perhaps the world. Having traveled there twice I can vouch for the city’s sheer majesty.

Vancouver’s not a city of excitement like LA (Los Angeles), the ‘Big Apple (New York City), ‘Motown’ (Detroit), or even dear old Chi Chicago. It’s not a grave yard either. Whether you’re there for business or on holiday there’s always something going on 24/7. You could check out the vibrant night life, go for a long walk in Stanley Park, go climb a mountain, and take in the colorful Totem Poles if aboriginal culture’s your thing. As a tourist perhaps you might want to see some of the city day time sights. Here’s an idea: (Go to: Things to do in Vancouver, BC or [email protected] and find Vancouver. Their colorful slide show ranks 1st class!)

Vancouver is one clean place; it really is. When I was there working an international trade show with for one of my relatives hawking fine Made in the Philippines rattan furniture at the domed BC Place Stadium, I noticed an interesting thing about Canadian culture: they run that country ‘by the numbers.’ Everything is ‘just-so’ with no deviations in between.

When I was driving my cousin’s pick-up truck on that, we got hungry. We drove for miles along the stretch of highway just outside Vancouver. The road was near their warehouse-farm where the stuff (rattan furniture) was stored. We decided to drive to the local Mc Donald’s for breakfast. I volunteered to do the driving.

A few minutes into our drive before we hit the highway and merged rush hour traffic, there was this little old lady poking along at a snail’s pace in the left lane. She was going so slow that there were ten or more vehicles trailing behind her. Me being the consummate American driver, I flicked on my right turn signal, changed lanes, and lit off down the highway. I could still see a procession of vehicles behind her. As I passed ‘old girl’ (the elderly woman driver) and continued on my way my cousin nervously corrected me and told me that it was illegal to pass people up in Canada no matter how slow they drove. He said that I should have trailed behind the woman. After a few off color remarks made by your beloved narrator I reluctantly eased over to the shoulder and handed him the wheel. I told him ‘that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.’

We continued driving to Mc Donald’s. Once there I ordered my usual hotcakes, sausage, milk, orange juice, water, and a small coffee. The service was friendly enough and the line was short but the food tasted a different. What many travelers are unaware of is that American franchise restaurants (KFC, Mc Donald’s, Pizza Hut, etc.) are geared to the palates of the local people. After the meal we continued on towards our primary destination.

About thirty minutes later we entered the city. A block or two inside the city my cousin leaned over me to see if I had my seatbelt on. I did. No sooner than when we reached a corner stop sign there were three of ‘Vancouver’s Finest’ (police officers) peeking inside all vehicles as they stopped to check for seatbelt violators. One officer did the peeking another stood at attention alongside his motorcycle prepared to give chase to violators who tried to flee. The third officer just stood at the corner arms crossed looking mean as if somebody ran off with his best girlfriend. After the perfunctory stop we continued our drive. Reader if you think cops here are rough on traffic violators you ain’t seen nothin’ yet; just drive BC!

And speaking about doing things ‘by the numbers,’ lets’ get back to the trade show. My cousin and I were laying a stretch of rug near the walk path. The building inspector, a young woman who resembled the younger more attractive version of the Iron Lady (Margret Thatcher) decided to check us out. The lady was carrying a clipboard. She was making her routine rounds inspecting the various booths for building code violations. Walking alongside her were two rough looking dudes. When she approached our booth, she took out a measuring tool. She told us that we were an inch over our assigned boundary space. I pleaded with her asking her to ignore the extra inch. We needed it to fully extend our carpet. She politely halted my argument in mid-speech. The building manager ordered us to move the carpet an inch off the walkway, wrote down something on her clipboard, and continued on her way. Looking over her shoulder she flashed her best ‘obey-me-or-else-I’ll-close-your-American-a****-down’ smile as she stalked off. Ain’t it amazin’ how much respect you get by being polite and having two mean looking guys walk alongside you looking as though they lived in a gym?

Vancouver is another world compared to what we’re used to here in the States. Vancouver, the ‘Singapore of the North’ as I call it is clean, exceptionally well-run, hyper organized, and as aforementioned ran ‘by the-book.’ Not bad traits when you pause to think about it. Perhaps my own city of Chicago could use a bit of their strict metropolitan regimen.

I got a sense that the place was ran by some unseen puppeteer jerking and pulling the strings of their daily living. My cousin validated my notions about the city when he ran down many of the ‘do’s and don’ts’ this city imposes on daily life but then maybe a lot of that has changed since I was there last though I don’t think so.

On the whole Vancouverites are a stiff lot; British influence, stiff upper lip, workaholics, and all that you know, very friendly, charming even, open, orderly, helpful, very down to earth, and fiercely proud of their city; they should be. The place is the literal flower garden of our continent, next to nearby Victoria. Who can fault them for wanting to keep things on the up and up?

‘HILL’ CLIMBING

There’s always something to do in Vancouver. If you’re the outdoorsy type you might want to experience the beauty of nature’s wonders. I got up one morning, went to church, had a ‘lumberjack’ breakfast, and boarded a bus to the city limits. Whenever I’m on holiday I always rely on public transportation. Not going anyplace in particular that day, I got off at Grouse Mountain a medium sized peak that’s part of the North Shore Mountains. The mountain is located 15 minutes from Downtown Vancouver (Search: Grouse Mountain.) There’s a ski resort on part of the mountain. The weather was perfect and I was feeling good. I decided to take a leisurely stroll up what I thought at that time was a very large hill. Being a ‘city boy’ I had no idea the damn thing had an elevation of 4,039 feet straight up into and above the clouds.

I started my accent. About two hours into my ‘walk’ I sensed something weird. I found myself inside what I thought was a thick fog bank. l plodded on. I broke through the ‘fog’ only to find myself looking down at what appeared to have been tiny dots in the distance whizzing in the direction of what looked like an airport. My eyes scanned the horizon. I was surrounded by snow topped ‘high hills.’ Still I climbed on. Later I reached the summit of this ‘hill’ then the unexpected happened. I started breathing rapidly and felt faint! When I sat down my head started to spin! I got dizzy and was fighting for air! I made a quick Sign of the Cross. I panicked. Seconds later I sensed Someone telling me to, “Lay on the ground and take slow deep breaths.” I obeyed. Laying flat on my back on the rocky surface I gazed up into the big blue above and did what I was told.

I rested for about 30 minutes. My breathing became regular. My dizziness subsided. I had acclimated myself to the high altitude. With my head cleared I decided to tour the summit. It was still…so quiet…I was the only person for miles or was I. I was alone but felt an unseen Presence beside me. I wasn’t afraid anymore. I didn’t wander far but decided to pack it in and call it a day. I slowly began my decent.

When I was half-way between the bottom and the ski resort, I spotted an attractive woman. She was picking blueberries. This lady appeared to have been in her late 30’s or early 40’s. As she picked her berries we struck up a friendly conversation. We exchanged pleasantries for the better part of an hour before exchanging phone numbers. That evening Barbara (not real name), the lady I met on the mountainside called my hotel. We arranged a meeting. She picked me up at my hotel. Barbara gave me a driving tour of Vancouver at night. Eventually we ended up at her home where she introduced me to her family. We had dinner after which she drove me back to my hotel.

I saw her again during my stay in ‘her’ city only this time at her family’s barbeque. Before I left for the States we promised to keep in touch. Weeks later I returned to Chicago I kept my promise. Our correspondence continued a few years.

WORSHIP CENTERS

There are a number of churches in this wondrous city (Search: Vancouver’s churches). If you’re Catholic like me and don’t know the Mass schedules I recommend that you search: Mass Times which list the church names, addresses, and Mass schedules for every Catholic church on the Planet-well at least the ones that participate in the Mass Times program. (Go to: Mass Times) During my two visits to Vancouver I attended Holy Rosary Cathedral which is the only Catholic Church I know that offers three full choir High Masses in a row on Sundays. Chicago’s Holy Name Cathedral during choir season offers two. Holy Rosary offers three unless they’ve cut back since I was there last.

The city has many fine places of worship; churches of the various Protestant denominations, Jewish synagogues, Muslim mosques, Hindu temples, and places of worship for all religions.

NIGHT LIFE

According to: Frommers (www.frommers.com) the long time travel specialists: ‘Vancouver is a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of town. With so much to see and do — and with the outdoors always beckoning — Vancouverites often wait until the day or the hour before a show to plunk their cash down for a ticket. It drives promoters crazy. Entertainment options run the gamut, from cutting-edge theater companies and a top-notch opera to symphony, folk, and jazz festivals that draw people from up and down the coast. And then there are the bars, pubs, clubs, and cafes — lots of them — for every taste, budget, and fetish. Dining out at a fine restaurant is also considered an evening out; at a restaurant like C or West, the presentation is theater on a plate; in a restaurant-lounge like the new Sanafir, the theatricality of the decor will wow you.

‘For the best overview of Vancouver’s nightlife, pick up a copy of the weekly Georgia Straight (www.georgiastraight.com). The Thursday edition of the Vancouver Sun contains the weekly entertainment section Queue. The monthly Vancouver magazine (www.vanmag.com) is filled with listings and strong views about what’s really hot in the city.’

TRAVELING VANCOUVER

I recommend traveling to this beautiful place. There’s a beauty, openness and natural honesty among the people that you just don’t see in most places in my opinion. Crime is minimal in most areas. There’s a lot of ‘culture stuff’ to do. Being an artist I ‘did’ two art museums. You like nature with its hunting, fishing, mountain hiking then Vancouver’s an ideal point of departure point for the great Canadian outdoors.

Would I move there-hell no! There’s a certain smugness I don’t think I could ever get use to. The city’s tiny Black minority are considered unemployable by the dominant white majority no matter how well educated and highly motivated they are. The Native Peoples routinely have their human rights ignored/violated as growing numbers of Native women are brutally raped and murdered annually with hardly an afterthought from the provincial government. Though extraordinarily beautiful, Vancouver’s not Heaven, a minor paradise maybe but certainly not Heaven so ‘whoop! There it is.’

“A great city is not to be confounded with a populous one.”

-Aristotle-


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