Life is funny. You never know what’s around the corner or what’s in store for you when you walk out your front door. One minute can change your life forever and as much as you try, you can never have that moment back.
Jenny Heart’s husband was killed a few weeks ago in a motorcycle accident. The shock is wearing off but it’s still so hard to believe that I’ll never see him again. I keep thinking he’s going to walk through the door and this will all have been a horrible mistake.
The reality is that I’ll never see that impish grin nor see him seated at my kitchen table. I won’t get to offer him a hot cup of coffee after dinner. I won’t see his cool black tennis shoes with Harley Davidson imprinted in orange on the soles. I never noticed his shoes until one day he propped his feet up on the coffee table and I saw that Harley Davidson logo on the bottom of his shoes. I remember telling David those were so cool! We had a good laugh about that.
As you can guess, Jenny Heart and I are friends in real life. It’s an unexpected friendship. See, Jenny Heart is my husband’s ex-wife and according to most of the world, we aren’t supposed to be friends. We are though, and it’s a strong friendship. We met about 11 years ago. The first few times we met over family functions and in the beginning it was a little awkward but we gradually realized that we really did like each other and had fun when we were together.
I’ve gotten some strange looks when I told people that my husband and I are friends with his ex-wife and her husband but it worked for us. Steve and Jenny were long over before David and I came into the picture so that was an issue that never came up between us. Over the years we have shared many a meal together and the road between us is well travelled. We celebrated holidays, birthdays and even went on vacation together, but having a cook out was our favorite thing to do. There’s nothing like a good meal with good friends. After feasting on hamburgers and brats, we’d settle in for a good movie or a game of cards.
Looking back, I am thankful for the good times we had with David and Jenny. I am thankful for the memories that we made and the laughter we shared. I am thankful that we didn’t let those traditional boundaries stop us from being friends.
Once when we were out somewhere, David ran into someone he knew. He turned to introduce Steve and found himself at a loss as to how to explain who Steve was or the nature of their relationship. After a few aborted tries, he finally just said this is my friend. Ever since that incident, Steve always jokingly referred to David as his husband-in-law.
On the day that David died, we left Jenny’s house about 11pm that night. We stopped to get something to eat at Hardees. We were both quiet, thinking about David and the shock of his death. We started reminiscing about good times with David. I looked over at Steve and he had tears rolling down his cheeks. In all the years I’ve known Steve, I’ve never seen him cry. He, too, had an unexpected friendship.
When you lose someone suddenly, their death is so hard to understand. There are so many more questions than answers. It’s easy to have regrets and blame yourself but the truth is you never know what would have happened if he had done this or that. David was a good man who touched many lives but maybe God needed David more than we did. If David’s death has taught me anything, it’s that life is just too short to have regrets. Embrace each day and live life to the fullest because, here on earth, tomorrow is not promised.