Toxic love
How many of you have been through a toxic relationship and thought you were possibly the problem? I think many of us have been in this situation.
Being in a relationship with a person that is manic depressant or a better terminology for this is Bi-Polar. It’s completely difficult to distinguish the behaviors as something you did not cause at first. When dealing with your partner you will see several mood swings. Not everyone’s experience in these toxic kinds of relationships are the same.
Manic mood swings to be aware of:
Big head syndrome-Exaggerated behavior in what they can do or accomplish. This behavior is exciting. It is fun to have someone protect you, and want to take on the world for you. Never needs sleep, can go on forever and does not want to be apart from you. Be ready to have your partner whisk you off your feet. Depressed mode-to sleep for hours on end. It can be very frustrated to go from one extreme to the other. It becomes confusing, you may feel that you did something wrong. If your partner goes into a hibernating mode and wants absolutely nothing to do with you, it’s hurtful and hard. No affection is allowed or involved. This stage has no communication or having contact with your partner. Outburst-when anger sets in, it is frightening. You cannot understand where this person came from. Especially after you were in your inseparable mode. Then the feelings of being unwanted and now you really feel you need to make things better at all cost. Why would your partner be angry with you? What have you done wrong? Where has all this aggression come from? Regret-your partner feels guilt for all the stages of cutting you off and being angry with you. Your partner will talk to you; discuss hate for him/herself. Your partner will feel suicidal or less of a person and it will make you love them again. This makes you feel they acknowledge their actions. You will have the feeling of love again. Accepting that they did not mean to cut you off or become aggressive. Honeymoon-this is the make-up part. This is the time when your partner is in his honeymoon stage. It feels great as if you just met. Everything is new and refreshed and all you want is to be close to them again. It is rewarding to get to this point. The time and effort it takes to get to here is very tiring and stressful. And then it starts all over again.
When you first start this toxic relationship, you will not have any idea that it will continuously be this way. You will not know that you will have to deal with these stages over and over again. At first, you feel that after the stages finish it will be a onetime only experience. (Keep in mind that these stages happen over a long period of time).
When your partner pulls out your chair and opens your door it’s great. When they buy you extravagant gifts and become over jealous of anyone and anything that gets near you; this feeling is rewarding. Especially when you love each other at the same time. It is an amazing feeling to have that exaggerated feeling of love.
Then all of a sudden your partner doesn’t want to talk to you, see you or even be around you again. They sleep for hours on end. It does not matter if you live together or not. Your partner can go days without getting up. They only wake up to consume small amounts of food, to shower and use the restroom. Then it’s off to bed again without being disturbed.
After the stages of sleeping and depression they awake to be angered of wasted time. You will become the primary reason and they will take it out on you for months on end. This is very toxic to you mentally and it is not safe nor is it healthy. You will be the one person they hate at that time and they will continue to be heartless.
Here comes the guilt and the regret. The tears and all the apologies for treating you like an object that has no emotions. Tears and words of apology. The continuous embrace, making you feel as if they cannot live without you.
And the honeymoon returns. This stage is when you are intimate for hours and months on end. Holding hands, kissing and intimacy are non-stop. It feels rewarding and it keeps going the same as a marathon.
Please, keep in mind that this toxic love is not healthy. It is not the most rewarding kind of relationship and it will consume your mentality until you get help. Your partner should be on medication and should get psychological help. Counseling and a therapist can work miracles to help your partner towards getting better. The medication they prescribe will help them become more aware of their emotions.
Many manic individuals will take medication but when they feel better will stop. This can complicate things further, giving the effect of relapse. If this happens you need to make the right choice and remove yourself from this kind of relationship. Things will not change and or improve. Many manic individuals stop taking their medication over and over again until they realize they need the medication to be able to handle things in life.
Please evaluate your relationship and life experiences before you decide to move forward in a toxic relationship. It is not healthy and can be completely depressing. It takes two people to make a relationship work. When you are the only person working to keep things sane it can consume you. Make the right choice for you.