Things to Consider Before Moving in Together

It is common knowledge that many couples choose to live together before marriage. This raises moral and religious issues in many instances, which will not be discussed in this article, nor will I be expressing my personal opinion on those issues. This article will address other issues like the bare bone basics of running a household with someone else.

First off, where will you live? This is extremely important for a variety of reasons. If one partner is already established in a home, this can give that person an advantage over the partner who is moving in. If a mortgage or lease is in the name of only one party, this can create issues if there is trouble in the relationship down the road. Obviously, for the person already established in the home, if the relationship fails and they have changed nothing on the lease or mortgage to include the other partner, then not a whole lot changes. That person still has a place to live. Meanwhile, in many cases, the partner who moved into the residence of the other may find themselves without a place to go back to, especially if they have let go of an apartment or sold a home upon moving in. This is an especially important concern if you have a child or children involved. You need to be certain you and your kids have a place to go if things turn sour.

Financial concerns are a big issue as well. How will this work in your household? Whose name or names will be on the utilities and other bills? This can be a positive thing, or a negative thing, depending upon the financial responsibility of each partner. If one partner is solely listed on the accounts, this is good only if they will manage to pay the bills in a timely fashion. However, if that person is not good at handling money, it can mean disaster for a household. Another thing to consider is that if you are contributing to the payment of such utilities, and you are financially responsible, you may want your name included on some of the household bills, if applicable, to help build credit. It’s a tricky situation because if something goes awry, it’s either going to hurt both parties, or only one, at least on paper. Definitely something to think about.

As you begin to live with someone, you will realize they are not quite as glamorous as you thought them to be. We’re all only human, so don’t expect too much out of any one person. In living with anyone, you see the best, the worst and everything in between, so be prepared if you still have illusions for some of them to be shattered. Dealing with any person’s little quirks is sometimes annoying, so remember, it’s not just this person, you’d find that with anyone.

Another issue of major importance is children. If you are bringing a child(ren) into this situation, make sure you know the other partner well enough to know that they will not mistreat or abuse your child in any way. Pay attention to how they treat your child as well. Do they respect the child and treat them fairly? Are they too hard on the child because they are not biologically their own? If your kids are not treated right, this is a huge red flag!

So before jumping into living together, keep in mind the financial aspects, and if giving up a home to move into theirs, consider the consequences of that if something were to happen to the relationship. Even if you truly love someone and plan on having a future with them, married or not, things can happen to send it all crumbling down. Make sure you are looking out for your (and your child’s, if applicable) best interests throughout the decision making process.


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