“You’ve got to get yourself together,
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it.
Don’t say that later will be better…”
-U2
“Nothing fades as fast as the future,
Nothing clings like the past.”
-Peter Gabriel
“More Than This”
What really happens to us when we die? It almost seems like a foolish question to ask because we will only get to find out when we depart this mortal coil, and we won’t be able to tell anyone what it’s like. The only thing people can seem to agree on is that they move towards a “bright light,” but that only tells us so much. Nevertheless, we still look for an answer to this question mainly because it will confirm the things we are led to believe. At the same time, thinking about the future this deeply is not much different from being stuck in the past.
Movoes like “Flatliners,” “The Sixth Sense,” and “Ghost” have explored this subject in various ways, but David Spaltro’s “Things I Don’t Understand” is one of the more thoughtful I have seen on in recent years. It’s not interested in coming up with some supernatural answer to this question, but instead in how our curiosity can somehow rob us of what meaning our lives have. Here we meet a variety of characters whose mind and thoughts are broken as their present lives seem unfulfilling because of physical and emotional scars, and their futures all seem relentlessly bleak.
Molly Ryman stars as Violet Kubelick, a graduate student who is working on a thesis of what becomes of us after death. Over time she has emotionally detached from the world and those around her after surviving a failed suicide attempt and has since developed a pessimistic attitude about life and what it has to offer. She lives to avoid every customer who enters the bookstore she works at and freely embraces a life of drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex as though she is daring death to take her away from this cruel world.
Things come to a head for Violet as she and her obsessively artistic roommates, bi-sexual musician Remy (Hugo Dillon) and hypersensitive artist Gabby (Melissa Hampton), face eviction from their home in Brooklyn and have to quickly come up with the money to save it. While this is happening, Violent comes to interview Sara (Grace Folsom), a girl with end stage cancer who approaches the end with a sardonic sense of humor, and she forms a friendship with lonely bartender Parker McNeil (Aaron Mathias) who is trapped by a tragic past that won’t leave him be. All these relationships bring about a much needed catharsis for everyone as they need to break free of what holds them back.
What I really liked about “Things I Don’t Understand” is that doesn’t come to us with easy answers about the afterlife and is far more interested in raising questions about it. To define what happens when you die in a movie is tricky because you threaten to lose half your audience with your interpretation. Spaltro avoids this trap and examines how our questions about life after death come to define how we live life day by day. For these characters, it has seemingly robbed them of a positive outlook on life or frozen their emotions at a moment in time to where they may never fully thaw.
The acting all around is very good, and Spaltro has given each actor a challenging role regardless of how big or small it is. Ryman has the tough job of portraying a character that is not altogether likable, and she simultaneously (without words mind you) has to indicate that psychological trauma that has come to define her life. As Spaltro has us guessing as to what that is, Ryman gives us a deeply felt complex portrait of a woman we might easily (and thoughtlessly) dismiss as damaged goods, but who is fighting a battle within herself to find a reason to keep on living.
The best performance in “Things I Don’t Understand” however belongs to Grace Folsom as Sara. The role of a terminally ill person can be a thankless one as we have seen it so many times to where it becomes shamelessly manipulative and full of overused clichés. But Folsom fully inhabits this character with a hard won dignity and a biting sense of humor that keeps what’s left of her spirits up. Everything Folsom does here feels genuine and real, and her emotions never ever appear faked or are manipulated by the director.
Aaron Mathias also has a tough role of a man whose happiness came to an abrupt stop years ago, and the shadow of his past hovers over everything he does. As Parker, he comes across as genuinely nice but also struggling with guilt he won’t put to rest. He succeeds in capturing the complexities of his role in giving us a good natured guy whose eyes betray a deep sadness that still overwhelms him. I could have done without his line of how being a bartender is like being a psychiatrist spiel, but that’s probably because I have heard it so many times.
As for the supporting performances, they at first seem too broad for a movie like this, but in retrospect they feel just about right. Hugo Dillon and Melissa Hampton play artists so dedicated to their art that they have foolishly denied other outlets that could very well add to it. Their characters strive not just for artistic truth but for acceptance from others which they feel they completely lack. In a world which can be so cold and unfeeling to their desires, they have forgotten to respect themselves. As much as these two go over the top, they both inhabit their characters fully and are more than willing to experience their longings and horrific embarrassments (wait until you see Gaby’s play!) in order to reach a new level of understanding about themselves.
Other performances worth noting include Eleanor Wilson’s as Darla, the new to town actress who looks and sounds dumb, but who turns out to have a positive view of life by choice and not necessarily a victim of blissful ignorance. Lisa Eichhorn takes what could have been a throwaway roll as Violet’s psychiatrist and gives it a nice edge you don’t always see in characters like hers. And let’s not forget Mike Britt who gives great comic support as Parker’s good friend, Big Felix.
“Things I Don’t Understand” is one of those movies wandering around in the overcrowded world of independent film which I hope finds the audience it deserves. While it looks like yet another movie wondering about what happens when we die, it takes that question and uses it to define how we can live for today. The more I think about this film, the more it reminds me of the lyrics of one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs:
“You can spend your time alone, redigesting past regrets, or you can come to terms and realize you’re the only one who can’t forgive yourself. Makes much more sense to live in the present tense.”
* * * ½ out of * * * *
See also:
“…Around”
“Stan” – Love Hurts, But Should It Burn?
“Stan” Gets Its World Premiere at the Dances With Films Festival