I cannot tell you my name. The work that I do is too sensitive. After I have told you what it is I do, you may understand why I remain anonymous, or you may not. Those things are left for you to puzzle out.
I help people use the correct words in the correct situations. If you wonder why this would be necessary, visit a library and view even one impromptu speech by one of our more recent presidents. You will understand, to some small extent. Most people stumble and stammer when forced to speak in public and little is ever said of it. He proved to be above average in this singular area. He was a failed student.
The great speakers, those who were relaxed at such times, were successful beyond what was normal for their experience or education. They spoke well. They lived well. The correlation between the two is inescapable, yet very few people understand it. I do. I have studied it for years and I have reached the point in my career where I could take anyone of the constitutionally mandated age and make that person president. This is not an idle boast.
One of my students, one of the poorer students, rose to be a senator even though his qualifications did not truly exist. He could speak better than anyone of his era and because of that, he was not closely scrutinized. He was regarded as an average legislator, perhaps slightly less than that, but because he could speak so well, his record, along with his qualifications, were very much ignored.
There have been others before him and there will be others after him, and some of those to come are phenomenal. Three of the newer speakers, and that is what they all are called, are functional sociopaths, but the medical world prefers not to use that term any longer. They consider it too base, too crass. In its place they now use antisocial personality disorder sufferers, and their term has become a perfect hiding place.
If someone is called a sociopath, people listen. If he is called an antisocial personality disorder sufferer, people go back to their newspapers. Words and how we use them could not have found a better example than that, although my personal favorite, even after all these years, is pre-owned instead of used. No one is fooled by it and no one is offended by it any longer. It has become perfect.
Now, the issue with sociopaths is that they know nothing if it cannot be found in a textbook of some sort. The more profoundly sociopathic require coaching and instruction on an astounding level. For example, our premier student is a thirty-year-old male whom we must teach nearly all social skills. His penchant for bathroom jokes, especially those without even the slightest grain of humor, resulted in his being removed from several universities, though there is no record of this.
We were forced to start over with him several times, a fact made all the more frustrating by the fact that his IQ hovers around 140 or 150. He will require our service for the rest of his life, but you can be assured that our services will be a tremendous bargain for him. When he is prepared to move into his senate position, he will have as few as 18 words to master.
This is a business and I cannot tell you what the words are. The words are always the same and they are always to be used in the same order, though not necessarily consecutively. They may be separated by many words or phrases, but the order in which they are used is never varied. The power of the words is in the order they are used, and the order can never change.
He must know when to use them, in whose company to use them, how many times to use them, and so much more. Those 18 words will not be the cornerstone of his career as a speaker. They will constitute the entirety of it. When he has mastered all 18, he will be able to project the illusion of caring about any subject or any circumstance or any person.
This concerns only the ILLUSION of caring, since sociopaths care about nothing. However, with those 18 words mastered, no one will ever know of the illusion, including himself. He will still feel nothing, but mastering the 18 words will allow him to think he does. I sell illusion. They buy it. You are governed by it.
When he is finally ready, he will have paid me and my associates well over $12 million, and the maintenance fee will be equally dear. This may seem to be a great deal of money, but it doesn’t compare with the money he will earn as a senator.
It is a simple fact of life, sir. You needn’t look so surprised. Why do you think these candidates spend millions of dollars in order to gain a job that pays peanuts? If it truly is for the good of the country, where are all the true statesmen and where is the all-important willingness to compromise?
Surely you must realize that politics is for politicians and that politicians could not survive outside the small world they have created. Their world is also illusion. They allow the rest of the world to see them doing important things but anyone could do what these politicians do. That becomes the illusion.
These men and women have learned to use certain words and phrases to give the illusion of caring about the world that you and I know. As I said, it is illusion. Without a good teacher, most of them would be selling vacuums door-to-door, and doing it very poorly.
Your naivete is not uncommon. Even in congress, quaint notions of doing what is good for the country can be found today, most notably among the newer members who believe in Jimmy Stewart’s world. The chances are not good for them to remain altruistic, and I believe we all accept that fact. They will change and this is why: even a very good hamburger loses its appeal when your dinner mate is eating filet mignon.
I’m in danger of being late for a class, so I really do have to fly. One final thought for you. The next time you see an extraordinarily gifted speaker, ask yourself how he got to be so good. Is he a natural or is he one of mine?
One thing is sure. You will never know.
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