“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” (Confucius) The selection is based on the match up involved in the team dynamics. It is not just enough to match up a person’s ability, intelligence and skills to do the job at hand but also their compatibility, their aggressiveness and their commitment to the overall goals at hand. Research has shown the importance of choosing someone to be a confidant as it has a major impact on surviving and term of impact and influence on others regarding age, race, and gender. Herein the most important element in the vetting process is the socialization of the individual as it has been shown those with distant family relationships are better confidants than those who are maintaining close and intimate relationships with their families. Logic prevailing here, one suggests the need for sensitive research in this matter by probing intimate or personal questions into the person’s history and relationships. A complete and accurate analysis of such interview or chat must reveal those qualities sought and prepare you for the right person at the right position. One needs to stay away from destructive confidants and focus on those qualities that produce organizational friendly individuals who are willing to commit to the overall good for the firm. Acknowledging the qualities of a positive confidant to be qualities recognized in all managerial or management leadership books, it is now imperative you recognize the qualities of a destructive confidant. Once vetted and cleared to participate, your career begins to blossom. Your biggest challenge will be to stay between those two lines drawn in the sand by your moral compass.
This is where the selection process focuses on the toxic aspect of mentoring the potential candidate or successor with ideas and concepts ideal in their own ideology and that of those who supervise them. Implementation includes communication that is counterproductive to good management concepts and detrimental to organizational goals and objectives. Injecting a dose of political savvy and interests in the compound, the leadership intentionally implements past practices as much of any opportunity or expectations of futuristic outcome is denied and avoided. A good example would be the selection of a two year experienced administrator appointed versus a five year administrator. Sensing the five year administrator has established credibility and moral foundations that are already solid and concrete and clearly politically recognized, they seek out the two year candidate to groom and form for their own purpose and their own will. When you have been a star, it’s hard to be a support player when you are passed by for such reasons as politics. The frustration will grab you by the neck and shake you into rebellion.
Defying sound management principles and going out on a limb to create their own style and their own brand of management, these leaders corrupt the very systems they were appointed to run and operate under current practices and as well as gubernatorial expectations.
This is the most important part of succession planning as it must follow their ideology and not those of others who encourage positive and productive relationships working as a team and not individually. The contrast is obvious and steps must be taken quickly to secure such a position inside the organization. Another element of selection is the ability to deflect feedback and make it happen so it can be used in another way as originally intended. In other words as Tolstoy used to say “Use the good thoughts of wise people.”
Going against the grain of what others are thinking is a springboard for new ideas to makes things better or worst. This ability to create a feedback distortion can and will result in rumors abound and dissention among staff and peers. Alternative motives proceed to reject new ideas that can be effective in staving off any chances for improvements or renovation of thoughts within the organization. Using the basic tools of being annoyed, standoffish or mad, you deflect the goodness of the message and transform it to suit your own needs. Once you have a selection of qualified toxic producing individuals onboard, you can formulate a plan to use this toxic team to fend off any attempts to change the organization and keep it under the type of control you can get pleasure from and articulate to be reflective of your own individual wants, needs and glory. Even when you are one of the good guys you will never be a hero because in many workplace cultures, it has been clearly decided they don’t need a hero in the field, they need a team. Toxic teams can run interference for you to avoid dealing with the reality of company issues and keep the rhetoric alive that you are good intentioned and good willed in your role as chief executive to the agency, organization or complex.
Avoiding the phrase “actions speak louder than words” you seek damage control and change the priorities of the organization often to confuse the opposition to your agenda. This selection of toxic leaders can and does give you a hand up on controlling leadership within your organization. Strategic placement of such toxic team members can control and eliminate other partial leaderships that seek improvement s and change. So now the question arises, what is a confidant and what role does a confidant play in management. Simply stated, the confidant is someone on the management team who offers technical, logistical, political and moral support to any leader or manager who shows the need for information [basic and advanced] as related to the matters at hand. Always remember that being stealthy is not always an option when you are dealing with the enemy and you need to know what is going on.
This confidant must exhibit loyalty, a unified stance and excellent judgment skills to aid his or her boss in the role of supplementing data or actions required to complete the agenda at hand. He or she must be well versed in the topic at hand, experienced public speaker to substitute if necessary and come up and stand up for the boss whenever there appears to be a problem that may have political ramifications negative to the decision maker thus requiring the confidant to step up and take the heat for the boss to make it politically possible for the boss to survive and look as if he was neither consulted or made aware of the issues at hand thus relieving him of any responsibility on how it was either handled or bungled.
A confidant must follow a code of conduct that is pre-empted by the one imposed by the leadership and then proceed with caution accepting a letter of expectations showing an outline of duties and responsibilities in this role. The stipulation that these acts are reserved and limited shows complete control by the system to manage such positions. Prerequisites are already listed through the selection process and although important they have a secondary educational level to enhance the boss’ stand during complicated issues, it is also important to reveal the ability to balance work demands and voluntary assignments to accept additional responsibilities for fabricating, developing or implementing new ideas coming down the turnpike of change and making sure the boss is in tune with every element of such plans. Here lies an oxymoron as the boss may be in tune but not knowable about the exact contents or fabric of its makings. This position, not taken lightly must first consist of a test run of the confidant’s ability to keep accurate and confidential information to him or herself.
This test run is often done in such a clandestine manner, it is difficult to spot or detect. Once this test shows or reveals loyalty and silence of the matter, the next step is a deliberate decision on how much information or support the confidant may be included in towards the growth of the leader in place. Some are excluded on certain meetings and conversation on purpose. Others are included and expected to remain silent as the conversation progresses into debate or conflict of ideas. Mental note taking is essential as often, no notes are permissible at such meetings where the destiny or professional demise or promotion of an individual is discussed or debated. Prototype ideals and suggestions are formulated on draft notices so they are exempted from the open records Public Information Act. It is here were the confidant expressed his or her suggestions off the record so the boss can take the lead and decide which direction he or she may want to go based on the complete analysis and logistical evaluation conducted by the confidant. I am sure by now the supremacy of the confidant over the boss has become noticeable and recognized by anyone reading with the degree of skepticisms and reality it contains. You got nothing when you are burned and you end up relying on anyone still talking to you to be kept informed in your own environment.
Seeking a win-win situation by matching up two equal individual but with only one carrying the title and responsibility of the job, it becomes a unique partnership of both weak and strong points melted into one function and one position. Do not mistake confidant with confidence with each other. They are two entirely different things and can be clearly demonstrated to be an essential ingredient in this role as confidant as you must feel good about yourself and how you project yourself doing the job and have faith in yourself to complete the tasks at hand. Injecting those things you are good at means focusing on your own attributes that helps you demonstrate your specific skills or activities with an attitude of champions.
Staying calm, cool and collected at the side of your boss takes talent as well as a good approach to the situation. Being patient, humorous can overcome awkward situations and help your boss evade another blunder or mistake. Confidants must not only be smart but they must be healthy. They can’t miss work and be absent on a regular basis as it is likely your presence will be needed at any unannounced situations where your input for your boss is relevant to completing the task at hand. Maintaining good health practices is therefore essential to this position. Major surgeries and time consuming illness are drawbacks and are avoided by those to ensure the accountability of these confidants is always present whenever the meeting is called or purpose arises. Rising to the occasion to be an effective wing man, you must be prepared if someone comes after you and make sure they would be disappointed what they may find in your preparation for such a task or assault. Always stay alert for the backstabber. Always make sure that if they want to take you out, they have to first come in so layout the ruse.
In echoing your leader’s position you must speak out loud and clearly with a strong voice and lots of eye contact to let people know you mean business. Taking care of business means following up on what your boss articulated and what he or she says they will do after the meeting or conversation. Thus a confidant ensure the action is followed up as the after action is a surprising and powerful way of tackling the task at hand and avoid procrastination thus projecting your boss to be a pro-active and energetic individual that seems to be in control of these matters and takes the time and effort to complete them accordingly. Here both small and large things can be impressive to some as they are awed it was taken care of so quickly with so much effort.
Last but not least is the main factor for your presence. You must stick up for the boss regardless and stick up for yourself to show unity and one voice. Allowing others to express their opinions is not held by everyone and if your boss is one such person who resents such conduct, you must re-enforce his and your position and stand up for him. As finality to this concept of selecting someone to be your confidant, teach them to smile and pretend they like people, even if they don’t. Capsulation of this chapter requires me to make one summarized statement and that is a confidant must be a character or person who can be trusted and is placed in a trusted position who serves as a device or instrument to reveal the inner thoughts or intentions of a main character, the boss.
If you are one of those who think like this; “When I see something wrong, I have to act, I can’t help it”… you might not be a suitable candidate to be someone’s confidant and wing man in the workplace.