School Bullying: How Do You Teach Your Kids to Handle Bullies?

Your child comes home from school and tells you another kid is being mean – really mean. A few days later you get called to the school, because your child has been fighting. He/she hit the same child that had been bullying them. What do you do? You find yourself in a common parental conundrum. If you tell your child not to fight back, to go find an adult and tell them what’s happening, you may be setting them up for even more ridicule. We all went to school. We all know what kids think of “tattletales.” On the other hand if you tell them to fight back, to stand up for themselves, you risk teaching them that violence is the answer, promote a cycle of bullying, and almost guarantee a disciplinary action at school. It would be wonderful if school were just a place of learning, where bullies and social hierarchies did not exist, but that just is not and never will be the case. So, what do you as a parent do?

Raise confident kids.

Bullies tend to single out kids they feel they can get away with bullying. Raising your kids to have a strong sense of self will not only make them a less likely target for bullying, but also make them more resilient to bullying when it does occur. You can stand up to bullies without getting physical. Often standing tall in the face of confrontation is enough.

Teach your kids how to react to bullies.

Even if your child hasn’t been bullied yet-this is unlikely in today’s schools-preparing them so they know how to react can help. Your child can try ignoring the bully or making jokes of their comments. They should avoid dramatic reaction. Bullies like to know what they’re doing is having an effect, it makes them feel powerful and in control. If either options fail, or the bullying is physical, they should confidently say, “No,” or “Stop.”

Teach your kids healthy emotional expression.

While acting like bullies don’t effect you may be advised, pretending they don’t bother you at all if they do isn’t healthy. Be sure that your children have outlets to vent their feelings in a healthy way. This could mean talking with you, a friend or another family member in confidence so it stays between the two of you, keeping a journal or sketch book, or anything else that helps them get what they are feeling out.

Teach your kids there is a time and place for everything.

Be sure your children know that when bullying goes too far, they need to tell an adult whether they feel it’s tattling or not. They can request to be anonymous. Sexual abuse for example is not a matter kids should try to work out on their own. Finally, sometimes it takes a good punch in the face to stop a bully. If your child has tried ignoring, avoiding, making jokes and even verbally fighting back, then there may not be another answer. I wouldn’t say I promote such action, but even studies show fighting back is not as ineffective as we believe. As parents we have to teach our kids when to stand up for themselves, and how. As long as you’ve taught your child right from wrong, and that honor and bravery must go hand in hand, they’ll be alright. Even as adults we face bullies; each one will take a different measure to rid ourselves of. There is nothing wrong with kids learning all of those measures now.

How do you teach your kids to handle bullies?

You may also enjoy:

Unschooling: Is it Good or Bad for Kids?

5 Ways to Save on Kids Clothing

Methods of Communicating with Your Children


People also view

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *