Romance: A Different Approach

I always thought women loved to be taken out to dinner and love to receive flowers and chocolates. These were the ideas of romance which I grew up with, I blame Hollywood and old fashioned parents. One thing I have learned recently, boy was I wrong.

Once, many many moons ago, one man was the first to use the “romantic formula” described above. It worked so well for him that he told all his friends. Due to the time in history and newness of the nice dinner and flowers concept, this system of romance was brilliant for them too. All their dates were so impressed they fell in love, the couples got married had children and developed the whole valentine’s day and romantic products industry.

If you get one thing out of this article, I hope its the realization that since the first dinner, roses and chocolates date, the concept has lost its originality. Today, its a bit of a cop out, its just another date without thought. Dinner out isn’t even special anymore, its something we do every week for no occasion, just to get out of the house.

There is a similar argument for flowers. Why are they seen as the special gift for your sweetheart when you also use them to: say sorry, say farewell, say welcome back, send your condolences at a funeral, say happy Mother’s Day, the list goes on. They are the “for all reasons” gift and surely you understand there is nothing romantic in the common.

Has the meaning of romance changed then? Does it have a new definition in today’s world? I’d argue not. I’d argue it means the same thing as it always did, we’ve just gotten a bit distracted by the machine that sells Valentines’ Day products.

Romance is thought. It is as simple as that. Real romance is getting into the head of your partner, working out the thing or things that will really appeal to them and then organizing for them to have it. It does not need to be expensive, or classy, or spic, or trendy, they are all preconceived ideas. All it has to be, is desirable for your date.

For example, a drive to the beach for fish and chips with a candle and a picnic rug could make your date way happier than a gourmet feast at an expensive restaurant. This assumes of course you have done your work and know she likes fish, driving and sand between her toes.

So next time you want to do something special for your partner. Talk to her (subtly often works better) about the things she likes. Then spend the time thinking and actioning the best way to give her the experiences she told you she’d enjoy. This approach is guaranteed to make her much happier than any formulated approach to romance.

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