Reasons Why Single Parents Choose to Stay Single

Divorced people with kids are in a completely different social bracket than those without children. It takes a very patient and accepting person to understand and put up with negative issues that arise with the kids of a significant other, especially when they do not have children of their own. After realizing how life is and how it will likely play out in the foreseeable future, many single parents choose to stay single. Learn some of the reasons why many single parents decide to remain unattached, and rethink your personal situation before making a long-term commitment and building new regrets.

The Squabbles of Kids

I was once married to someone that did not like one of my kids from the very beginning. In the end I could not love or respect this person that clearly hated my child, and I knew that life would never be peaceful or pleasant. Even those with children can and will eventually encounter problems with their significant other, and those problems are likely to be directly related to bickering kids and the insignificant little squabbles and issues they devise. The couple might get along wonderfully alone, but when they feel their kids are being falsely accused or insulted, some become exceedingly defensive. Ugly situations like this often end relationships, and parents decide to stay single instead of putting their heart on the line ever again.

Unnecessary Defensiveness

One of the main reasons why single parents choose to stay single is defensiveness. Some parents are unreasonably defensive when it comes to their kids. When informed that their child did something, they adamantly deny it even if another adult witnessed the situation. They ask the child if they did whatever it is they were accused of, and of course they say no. Kids do not want to get into trouble, and instead they cause trouble by lying about the situation. They learn to lie by watching their parents deny their actions time and time again. The defensive parent ultimately turns on the accuser, and all-out war begins. When two or more kids from different families are expected to get along and one does something to get under the other child’s skin, the defensive parent will back up their child. Reasonable parents finally have enough of this foolish behavior, and relationships end.

When I was married, my ex allowed his daughter to get away with everything. She was a spoiled child, and screaming was all he ever did in an attempt to solve problems. My kids did not get away with anything when he was around. In fact, they were blamed for absolutely everything, and I was expected to punish them severely. My ex did not love my kids. He did not even like my children, and he did not have their best interest in mind. This is also one of the reasons why single parents choose to remain single. Once a tyrant is out of their life, they never want to lose their freedom again.

Natural Favoritism

Another one of the main reasons why single parents choose to remain single is favoritism on the part of their significant other. Some people naturally favor their own kids over the children of another parent. A loving and truly caring adult would not do this and make it obvious, but it happens. The truth eventually comes out, and they finally have enough. Parents that have suffered emotional abuse choose to remain single to keep this common problem from ever happening again. These parents do not believe that anyone else could ever love their kids as much as they do, and they are absolutely right. No one will ever love a child as much as that child’s parents – if they are loving and caring individuals.

Different Rules and Parenting Issues

Think carefully before defending your kids tooth and nail in opposition to a significant other and/or their kids, especially if your little angels are known to misbehave. Your kids will eventually grow up, meet someone special, fall in love and go on with their lives. As far as your life goes, what could have been days of happiness and true love will become nothing but bittersweet memories. Consider for just a few seconds that your child is not perfect, and do not become overly sensitive. You will end up single and remain alone – at least until your kids are grown and living on their own.

Source: Personal Relationship Experience


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