As all parents know, we weren’t given a handbook of how to be the best parent or a baby manual of best parenting style for your children. We all learn from trial and error or experiences shared by other parents. Being a parent is the hardest job yet the most fulfilling and adventurous one. Every day, my children broaden my horizons, stretch my limits, and push my button of patience. Although there is no job performance review nor pay raise at the end of year as a parent, I find goals setting or parenting resolutions help me to become better parent, even a little step at a time, I see the benefit in my children and in myself. Here are my 5 parenting resolutions for this year.
Spend at least 30 minutes a day reading to my children
Our teacher has shown us some studies show that if kids are read 15 – 30 minutes every day, they will become B students by 2nd/3rd grade. As the learning focus are different between lower graders (Kindergarten to 3rd grade) and upper graders (4th – 6th grade). The younger students are learning to read or become more fluent readers. As they move on to upper grades, their learning focus shifts from ‘learn to read’ to ‘read to learn’. Moreover, a good reader is more likely to be a good writer. So to ensure our children’s success in school, I commit myself to read to my children everyday even if I cannot read 30 minutes every day, I believe reading 10 minutes will still beneficial to the young minds.
Be consistent
One of our weaknesses in parenting is being consistent. Sometime our children could get away from certain consequences depend who was watching them or depend on the mood of the parents. Consistent is important to correct certain behavior. For example, I asked my children to tap on me if they have something to say when I am either talking on the phone or talking to another adult, I will put a hand on their shoulders to acknowledge. It has been working great for us; our children stop the annoying habit of interrupting when the adults are talking. It also helps them to be a more polite little people. We observed when we were inconsistently using this method, neither acknowledging them nor giving them a chance to speak, the interrupting behavior comes right back. Consistent in rewarding and punishment is also important. This will avoid confusion and help the children learn proper manners and behaviors because they know what to expect for each incident or situation.
Letting Go More
Our goal as parents is to raise capable and responsible person. As a mother, I find it difficult sometime to let go when my children are clearly capable. I learned that when I give them the space to carry out their responsibilities, they have the sense of pride and confidence. The space and trust that we give our children will help them grow. For example, instead me putting their folded clothes away, I ask my kids to put away their clothes. To my surprise, my oldest one, a fourth grader, enjoys putting his clothes away and one day, I discovered that he even re-organized his drawers to be more functional to him. He was really proud to show his neat dresser to us.
Eating healthier and exercise more are my other two resolutions. I want be a better example for my children. Sometime I get lazy after a long day at work; I will pick up fast food for dinner. It sent a signal to my children that are OK to eat unhealthy food. Our children are like sponges, they absorb what they see, hear, and learn from us. They are conditioned in the way we show them how to live. One of the TV commercial showed when mom called out “dinner”, all the kids came down from upstairs and hopped into their family minivan. It was a funny commercial but so true, if you eat out all the time, the kids will associate dinner with the family minivan. To ensure they will have a healthy life style, not only I need to provide them one but to live in one. That gets back to my previous point of being consistent.
What are your parenting resolutions this year?