Dealing with rejection from a man is kind of embarrassing, I must admit. As women, we always hear, “Don’t chase a man; let the man chase you.” While this phrase has been around forever, is it really logical? Is it really such a bad thing to chase after a guy you are attracted to? Well, let’s cut out the word chase … is it bad to let a guy know you are interested in getting to know him better? With the uneven proportion of men and women in the world today, especially in some cities where there is significantly more men than women, should we still follow this logic? Is it OK that we as women should be more willing to open up and start letting guys know how we feel? Well, with that change comes great responsibility. One of the biggest backlashes of making the first move is being rejected. Could you handle a guy not accepting your advances?
Let me tell you a story. There was once a girl, a very awkward and geeky girl who developed a crush on this guy. The guy was very cute, popular and the complete opposite of the girl, but she still found him quite attractive and wanted to get to know him. Well, every time the girl saw the guy, she blushed and smiled at him and he always smiled back. Weeks then months passed by, and the same thing happened every time, so the girl thought, “Hey, why don’t I try to talk to the guy and get to know him? Could it hurt?”
Well, the geeky girl decided that one day she was going to get the balls to tell the guy that she wanted to know him better and hang out. She talked to her friends and tried to think of an elaborate plan to talk to him. Well, he was an athlete so she decided, “Oh, I’ll ask him to teach me how to play the sport.”
Days passed by and she chickened out every time. She couldn’t do it because the fear of rejection is real. She figured that it would be pretty obvious that a girl coming out of nowhere asking a guy how to play a sport after she’s been googly-eyed over him and blushing and whatnot would be clearly a hit-on. Or at least she assumed. Well, one day, she finally got the courage to do it. She went up to him and said, “Could you teach me how to play one day and here’s my number…” It was the most awkward moment in the girl’s life and she was sure that she looked crazy. Her voice shook and she was more nervous than taking a final without studying at all for the test. It was just that bad. He took her number, and they went their separate ways.
Did they ever hang out? Nope. Were things awkward after that? Very. But the girl did what she thought was the impossible -she actually took the initiative to make the first move.
Of course that geeky girl was me. Sure it was the most awkward experience of my life and I was so embarrassed every time I saw the guy. I couldn’t look at him after that for a while and I couldn’t believe what I had done. Someone who lived in a completely different world than I of course wouldn’t be the right fit for me. When I realized that a rejection wasn’t the WORST thing in the world, I got over it. Sure I remember that day, but would I change it? No, absolutely not. It taught me a lot of things.
First, rejection does happen. Sure, it sucks and you might get red in the face if you have to see that person again, but most of the time, you won’t. That was so out of my element, but now, it’s not that bad of an experience. It’s one of those things that you just deal with and life goes on. You realize that there are other guys out there and why should you just sit around and wait for them to come to you. If you guys both have some chemistry, why not?
Another thing I learned, it would help if you tried to flirt or hit on a guy that is….well your type. I know the guy I had a crush on at that time wasn’t and we had nothing in common. It would definitely help if you did. I mean, I was the girl who had blue highlights at one time and couldn’t dance to save her life. We never hung out at the same places or even with the same people. I knew I most likely wouldn’t be his type, but I still took a chance anyway.
In the end, I learned a valuable lesson and how to hit on guys in a way better way than what I did. I would honestly encourage every girl to do the same. If you really like a guy, just go for it and tell him how you feel. Even if he doesn’t reciprocate your advances, it’s ok. Look at me, I didn’t get to know him, but not too much later, I met a few more guys and my next boyfriend. I mean, there are plenty of other fish in the sea and you just need to get your fishing rod out…or catch the next hook.