If you are like most parents out there, you do the best job you can at parenting but you don’t necessarily adhere to a certain style of parenting. Some parents do read parenting books and take great strides in following the strategies in these books. The rest of us, however, follow our instincts and take the challenges of each new day in stride. Parenting, after all, isn’t something that comes with a manual or how-to guide.
Often, parents today apply some of the same parenting principles their own parents applied to them, but of course with their own unique twists and changes. Some of these changes are required to parent in th modern age, and some of them come about because you likely are parenting with your partner who has his or her own parenting philosophies deeply rooted from childhood, too.
While you may not have put much thought into how positive your parenting is, the fact is that it really does matter. Kids develop a lot of their own thoughts and beliefs about how to approach life in general from watching you and listening to you. In fact, here are some points to consider:
Do You Accept Challenges? Nobody wants to raise a child who is meek and shies away from life’s challenges. Instead, we want our children to not just face each new day’s challenges but also to embrace them with energy and vibrance. Take some time to consider how you have faced challenges recently in front of your children, and consider what they took away from watching you in action.
Do You Gripe and Complain? As an adult, you know that the only thing worse than a whiny kid is a whiny adult. Nobody wants to be around such a person, and this includes in a personal as well as a professional setting. While you may present a positive outlook to the world in public, if you gripe and complain at home, your kids will indeed pick up on these and they likely will not discern the setting. So it may be wise to pay attention to your words any time little ears are around.
Do You Step Up? There are times in everyone’s life when they are called on to step up in some fashion. Sometimes this may be to take charge in a professional situation, or sometimes to volunteer at the school or church. Sometimes a friend may be in need, and they ask for our help. Do your kids see you actually stepping up and helping out during these times of need, and if you do step up, do they see that you are willing and happy to help out or that you are quietly seething about being asked to help?
These, of course, are just a few of the very many things that kids observe about us as parents. You may try to be the best parent possible, but don’t underestimate the importance of teaching by example. Little eyes are watching you all of the time, and little ears are listening. Always keep in mind the impression you are making them through your own words and actions.