How Grant Told Me He Didn’t Want Any More Children

Grant loosened his tie & plopped down on the couch. As he leaned over and pried his still-tied shoes off, he said ‘Ya know, the guys and I went had a few beers at the hotel bar the first night of the conference.’

‘Of course you did,’ I replied. ‘How’s Pedro? How’s Wallie?’

‘We were talking about all sorts of stuff.’ Grant failed to meet my gaze. I braced myself.

“Ya know, they asked me if we were gonna have a kid.” He shot a quick look in my direction, and still did not look directly at me.

Leaning against the wall, I crossed my arms and waited.

‘All of them were talking about how hard it would be to have a kid. We’re all 50. We’re all involved with our own kids. It would be time-consuming, tiring, and distracting to have another kid. To have a baby. They all said they couldn’t believe that I’d want another at my age. I already have Benny and Tyler. So, ya know, I don’t think I want any more. After what they all said… I thought about it, and they don’t think it’s a good idea. And I don’t think so either.’

Stiff, silent, I waited.

“So, well, you need to go on the pill.”

I paused before replying. “Grant. If you don’t want any more kids, I think you need to get a vasectomy.”

He shot back ‘No, I’m not going to do that. It’s easier for you to go on the pill. So you need to do that now.”

“You’re telling me that you’ve decided you don’t want any more kids because you have two. And because your college drinking buddies don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“They’re my grad school buddies, not my college buddies. And I don’t want another kid because of the expense and hassle.”

“And you already have filled your quota. While I haven’t filled mine”

“C’mon, Diva, it’s not like that! I’m just done. I talked about it with friends, and I’m done.”

“And after making the decision, without my input, I need to go on the pill.”

“As usual, Diva, you’re seeing the glass as half empty! Not half full!”

And, as usual, I thought ‘where, oh, where am I in any of this?’ I wish I had figured out the right answer to that years before I finally did. The benefit of wisdom and hindsight.


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