Five Minutes

I sat behind the steering wheel and screamed. Moments before I had heard a thump on my right fender. I looked to the side and saw a little girl who had landed in a heap by the curb. I screamed and slammed on the brakes. I wanted to get out of the car but was paralyzed. Suddenly, I felt a searing pain between my index and middle fingers. The cigarette I held slid down and burned the space between the two. I screamed again. All of a sudden there were people all around. Children were also screaming on the sidewalk. Adults were running around. Someone knocked on my car door. I managed to lower the window and a woman asked, “Are you all right?” “Yes,” I mumbled. How did this happen? Why didn’t I see her? Was it my fault? Where did she come from? Soon a policeman knocked on my window. He asked me a few questions. One was, “Were you wearing your seat belt?” “Yes.” I don’t remember anything else he said. He left. The police were measuring my skid marks. I waited. The ambulance came. I didn’t want to watch but I couldn’t help it. She moved. I sighed. I felt a slight sharp pain on my right thigh. I glanced down to see a match. Then suddenly it hit me – I was lighting my cigarette – reaching into my purse, striking the match, lighting the cigarette. As soon as I finished, the “thump”. Oh my God! It was my fault…. but only one person will ever know..


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