Let me start by stating the fact that I do not passenger well, even with my husband who is a professional driver. Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor sunny day will keep me from gasping loudly and using the imaginary brake with a white knuckled death grip on the seat and my eyes scrunched closed. With this in mind, allow me to tell you of the journey that has been drivers training with my three children.
I did not have to do a great deal with my son. When he got his permit, he got the pleasure and privilege of taking the class at school with a qualified driving instructor and training on a track in a real car. I believe that his high school class was the last in our county to have that luxury.
I would try to have him drive with me during the year he had his permit but he was reluctant. His pat answer to ‘would you like to drive’ was “Naw, I’m good. ” I can’t imagine why! I gently guided him in the art of not hugging the right side of the road, and slowing down to a stop safely. “Keep my side of the car out of the ditch! Slow down faster!” Hmm.
For the record, he is an excellent driver, though his wife does most of the driving. She doesn’t passenger well either. They both make fun of me for using the nonexistent passenger brake.
I had thought my husband would be training our oldest daughter since he is her dad. Unfortunately, he has no patients and drives a standard. That was an incredible epic fail. She came and asked me to PLEASE teach her to drive. (in my new car.) Yikes!! This was an incredible test of what little patients I have as well.
After several weeks of having to repeatedly telling her to use two hands on the wheel and to slow down faster and having to hear “I know!” from her and having her tell me how she was going to drive when I corrected her , I finally had to put my foot down. I let her know that if she was to learn on my car she would drive the way I wanted her to or not at all which was followed by the ever-popular teenage “OKAY!”
Well it went well for a bit but as things usually go where there is a power struggle with a teenage girl and a mother (step or not), she began to go back to the way she wanted to do it. Which inevitably caused her to bump into one of those cement bumpers at the gas station because she did not “slow down faster” as I had asked her to.
I just smiled and nodded my head. So, over the course of the next few weeks I refused to let her drive if she asked me first. Using the ever popular mom excuse, “Because I said no.” When she least expected it I would ask her to drive. She would smile and say “Really?” and I would say “If you follow my rules you can drive.” I suspect the unsaid was heard.
For the record, my bonus kid is also a good driver, though her boyfriend does most of the driving now. She too makes fun of me for using the nonexistent passenger brake.
Now my youngest girl, the last in my litter, takes good notes. I think she was paying attention to what the first two did and made mental note of what not to do. The first day in the car I took her to the mall on a Sunday to drive. I figured it was safe since there were no cars around. She can get nervous when it comes to new things until she gets the hang of it.
I turned the car off and we swapped sides. I looked at her and told her and I said, “You know the deal.” To which she said, “It is your car. I drive like you teach me to drive or you won’t let me drive.” and she smiled at me. I smiled back and said, “okay what do you do first?”
She recited to me everything to do as she did it. She put on her seat belt, checked her mirrors, put her foot on the break and started the car. I instructed her on how to back up the car. It took her a few tries to remember that regardless of going forward or backward you turn the wheel in the direction you want that end of the car to go.
I let her drive all over the parking lot for about an hour until cars started to come. Then she practiced turning down the lanes where cars were parked so she could learn to judge distance. Then I told her, “When you feel brave enough, we can drive around the whole mall.” Well she finally did and it went well.
She has only had one mishap so far. I think she was a bit nervous because her bonus dad (my hubby) was in the car too. It was the first time someone other than just us had been in the car while she drove. She curbed my car backing out of a parking place onto the street and hit the gas instead of the break.
It scared us but Chris and I didn’t freak out. I calmly told her to get us off the curb and that we were all okay. She didn’t ask to drive for a few days after that. I finally made her drive. I asked her if she was still bugged about the curb incident. She just said ,”wouldn’t you be?” I guess in her shoes I would.
She has been driving to school every day and she actually asks me for my opinion of her driving. She doesn’t give me the huffy eye roll teenage thing when I correct her. Her father has let her drive home from her weekend visits.
For the record, she says I am doing much better at being a passenger with an unskilled driver at the wheel and thinks that one day I will be very good at it.