Has your six-pack turned into a keg? Are you eating off a TV tray that used to be your chest? Is “Mr. Happy” M.I.A. when you stand up and look down? If you have answered yes to any of these questions you may be a “Couch Potato.”
I have devised a simple exercise (yes, I know I said exercise but hear me out before you shut down), plan to help “Couch Potatoes” firm up and not leave the security of the couch. It’s called “Couchercise.”
The Couch Squat.
First, make sure you are watching a station that has commercials. Second, take your nap blanket, you know you have one, and place it behind you for lower back support.
Next, sit on the edge of the couch, if your hips are lower than your knees sit on one of those little useless couch pillows; you don’t want to use the one you for your head for obvious reasons.
Now, stand up without the use of your arms. Take a couple of seconds to recover, place your feet directly under you at shoulder width apart. Slowly lower yourself, breathing in and tightening your abdominal muscles, to the couch. Just before you sit raise up, breathing out still holding your abdominals tight, to the standing position. Repeat this motion three times then rest in the standing position.
Warning: This is a level one move and should not be attempted with a game controller in your hand. In fact the game console should be turned off. I know, but all exercise has some sort of sacrifice to be made.
Goals: 1-10 squats per 30 second commercial (Doodley), 11-25 (Major),
26-30 (General).
Ultimate Goal: Do the exercise for the whole commercial beak without stopping.
Advanced modes.
After you have reached “General” and have done the “Ultimate” once, you will be ready to add some weight. Yes, you will have to buy some weights, but they are weights you were already going to buy. I recommend starting light. Use two six-packs of your favorite bottled beverage– I have found they are easier to handle than a six-pack of cans-and do the exercise with a “weight” in each hand. Once you have reached “Ultimate” move up to a twelve pack and so on.
If you feel a little soreness in your legs and rear, it’s a good thing. The soreness means you have worked the muscles enough to start them building and firming.
More “Couchercise” will be coming soon, but for now take a break and enjoy.