If you are like most parents, you zoomed through the baby years and the toddler years with relative ease. Sure there were those times when you had to scrub crayon off the wall, and you had to let the dog’s hair grow back out of your kid gave him a “hair cut.” There were those tantrums in the store that caused some embarrassment, and the first utterances of “potty words” (which you no doubt quickly took care of). It wasn’t easy, but you may have had the impression that once your child hit the early years of elementary school, you had clear sailing for awhile into teen angst and puberty set in.
Of course, that sure didn’t last long at all! If your child is like many, your once happy, carefree kid has turned into a brooding, moody kid with emotions that turn hot and cold for seemingly no reason at all. You may even think this is an early sign of puberty. Well, if your kid is eight or nine (or older), it very well could be the very beginning of puberty changes. Of course, it could also be that your child is growing up and having rough days that are wearing him or her down, too.
As a parent, it can be difficult to cope with a moody kid from your own emotional standpoint, much less know what to do. Here are some strategies:
Keep Cool. When your once chatty, talkative, open kid turns into a closed box with a grumpy look, it’s pretty easy to take it personally. You may think your child is mad at you, and the fact is that he or she may even lash out at you at certain times. However, this isn’t a time to let your own emotions take over. So make a point to rise above and keep a clear, level head. Give yourself a little time out if your child is really pushing your buttons.
Set Guidelines. Let your child know that it’s OK to have a bad day, but that certain rules still need to be followed. They can be grumpy, but they aren’t allowed to slam doors, be mean to siblings, and so forth.
Give Them Space. Your child is surely going through a lot of issues at school that you likely don’t know about. Kids this age can be cruel, and even on their best days, they can still hurt feelings. They may simply want some peace and quiet to relax in the room by brooding in silence, or taking their mind off of the day with music or TV. Know that you can’t fix everything and give them space to figure things out on their own.
Offer Them Your Ear. If you go plop down on your child’s bed and demand to know what’s got him or her down, chances are you are going to get the pat response of, “Nothing.” Yet let them know that you are available to talk any time. You can prod gently, but don’t be overly pushy or you may just end up getting shut out more.
Divert Their Attention. If it seems your child is really struggling with something or otherwise just cannot get out of a funk, by all means make an effort to divert their attention. Treat your child to a one-on-one outing complete with a movie, a dinner at a favorite restaurant, and even ice cream afterward.
Keep in mind that while most of the time the issues that eat away at kids this age really aren’t that serious at all, some of them do require your attention. If your child still will not open up and you feel the problem may be serious, let your child know that you will be talking to his or her teachers if you don’t start getting some answers. Most kids will start talking to you at that point.
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