With a sperm donor that owes my daughters and I over $160,000, it is sometimes quite feat to deal with the fact that if this guy was dead at least my children my would receive a social security check and life would be considerably less difficult. This bit problematic in the fact murder is not exactly the best way to get your children the support they need, and the consequences do not sound like a good time here on earth or for all eternity. Terminal illness does not seem to be a factor at this point, and I have no plans of taking up voodoo anytime soon, so there will be no cursing him with anything that would cause death.
Alternatives must be found.
A creditor has every right to use any means necessary to collect money from you after just 30 days of being late, how is that single parents do share the same right in such short time. Beyond with simply dealing with “the deadbeat” himself, I have had to deal with several government agencies, an attorney, and worst of all, “the current wife”. None of which has produced a quick result, or any result at all for that matter.
Going through any state support enforcement agency is extraordinarily slow, and not nearly as effective as it needs to be, due a heavy case load. You could wait months to have the opportunity to even tell Child Support Enforcement that you have a child support order established, know where the deadbeat is, know where the deadbeat works, that you have done all of the work for them; your case worker is still going to look at you and say, “it will be thirty days before I can send the order to the employer.”
Attorneys are really quick to say they can help; it is just a shame that in lawyerese, that means “I can help you at my own pace for 35% of what you collect.” In my eyes, that is no help at all.
And then there is the unemployed current wife, the second biggest trouble maker in this scenario. She is going to be the one that says, “We are going to try to help, we want to do the right thing.” But will not answer the phone after she sends an invisible money order that never materializes.
To add insult to injury she is really fast to say that they don’t have the money, and they are struggling. But in the same breath has the audacity to tell your child that will send a new Xbox for her birthday.
All I have to say to you, Mrs. Current Wife, is get a job! I have been working my entire life and you chose to have more kids with that moron, what did you think would happen?
Oooooo!! Blood pressure! I get a touch angry with the thought of it all.
I digress.
Back to my point.
Fighting this battle has sent my imagination into fabricating much more creative ways to stop the Deadbeat Dad epidemic in a much more effective way than simply taking a driver’s or fishing license away. I mean, seriously, do you really think that the person who commits a federal crime by not paying child support, will really not go drop a line in the local pond without a license? Allow me to offer my slightly more colorful than average methods of collecting child support.
Public humiliation has been far underrated by the American Citizens; however, I believe that visiting the possible outcome may make this practice a bit more acceptable in the case of unpaid child support. Let’s take a moment to examine my plan on proper humiliation of the deadbeat parent along with the timeline for implementing each action.
Each local newspaper nationwide should have a weekly article entitled “Losers Among Us, Our Town’s Deadbeat Parents“. This article should reveal all deadbeat parents in the local area that are three months and greater in arrears. This would be a great wake up call to all of those who find child support secondary to their own needs. Putting this article on the front page would create even better awareness since anyone who even walked past a newsstand would see the article. Allowing the custodial parent to insert quotes from the deadbeat would be even better, just think about all the ridiculous reasoning you have heard out of this variety of lowlife. It would probably read like a standup routine on Comedy Central.
After six months of arrears, each debtor should have a henna tattoo placed on their forehead that reads “I refuse to pay child support, my needs are so much more important that my child’s.” By having henna as a temporary medium, the deadbeat has the opportunity to correct their lack of action, and proceed into the future with a different mindset. Henna tattooing would serve long enough to inflict some harassment to the debtor.
A website with an international database of child support debtors can be pulled up by name or social security number. After nine months in arrears, the debtor should be placed on this list. Laws should be in place to force anyone employing anyone, even for an odd job to check this website for child support arrears, with consequences for failing to do so. A website like this would also allow an opportunity for potential daters to check out who they are seeing, a “baggage check,” so to speak, to prevent future problems. The following format could be used:
Name: John Doe
Aliases: Maximus Jerque, Iowa Lott
Rank: Big Time Loser
Arrears: $103,000 to Baby Momma 1
$122,000 to Baby Momma 2
$68,000 to Baby Momma 3, ( why hasn’t this guy been fixed yet?)
$15,000 to Baby Momma 4
ALERTS: Do not be next!!!
Employer Alerts: Take all of his money and send it to his children!!!
Comments from Custodial Parents:
Baby Momma 1: Girl, stay away from this guy! He knocked up two other women when we were together.
Baby Momma 2: Maximus Jerque is the worst father in the world, he told me that he would always be here for me and these kids, and he has never paid anything.
As though a website where custodial parents can voice their opinion would not be enough, I also believe around the nine month time mark that a GPS tracking device should also be inserted into the head of the deadbeat. Since the deadbeat doesn’t think that the child has right to be supported, I don’t think that they should have a right to privacy. The custodial parent should have a right to not only know where the absent parent is at all times, but also have the right to do harass them like any other creditor does.
Having a liquidation sale would also be a great way of alerting the deadbeat parent to the seriousness of this issue. Allow the custodial parent the opportunity to go in to the domicile of the deadbeat and scour for items that could be sold to pay arrears. That 75 inch flat screen, it is history. That Xbox that distracts you from the ability to be a parent, out of here! What about that Harley Davidson sitting in the garage? Sold to the highest bidder! Allowing the custodial parent to hold the sale would be considerably more humiliating than having the authorities deal with these issues and would not cost the taxpayers a dime.
At two years in arrears, the single parent may be feeling inklings of fading hope. This is the time to hit where it hurts (or at least make it hurt!) Court ordered sterilization! Any person who feels it unnecessary to pay child support should certainly not have the right or ability to make more children. Deadbeat parents cause children, the custodial parent and anyone who has to help the single parent’s household suffer needlessly. Court Ordered sterilization will prevent more people from suffering.
When three years have passed without child support being paid on a regular basis, you can bet that this is going to continue to be an ongoing problem. At this point, I think a permanent flag should be attached to the debtor.
Permanent tattoo across the forehead.
After three years, permanent damage can be inflicted on the child by sense of abandonment, lack of financial means, harassment by other children, even being forced into schools that offer substandard education. That being the case, I believe that a deadbeat parent deserves a humiliating mark that will be seen by everyone that they come in contact with. Just to make this a little better, I think all the tattoos should be done by single parent tattoo artist that is not gentle. After the tattoo has been inked, covering or removing this tattoo should be a felony.
By the time that three years have passed, a single parent has dealt with struggles that the average person has not gone through. At this point, the custodian should be entitled to debt relief by the deadbeat. That’s right! All of the debt that the single parent has, is now the responsibility of the deadbeat. Talk about a pressure relief! Single parents spend their days and nights trying to make ends meet every day, these folks deserve medals not debt and despair. Hang that debt on the person who put it there!
Beyond the five years of complete humiliation and running from responsibility, a deadbeat parent is not likely to start. At this point, the law should take over completely. There should be mandatory life sentence for anyone who has not paid five years of child support.
Harsh? If you ask me it is not harsh enough. That deadbeat, the one you fought for the last five years, well he doesn’t have to worry about where his next meal is coming from, he does not have to worry about the water being on to take a shower, the lights will still be on and so will the cable, and still will not be paying child support. This is just too easy.
I think that incarceration for the deadbeat should be a special place where there are no televisions, that the utilities are only on occasion, that food is minimal, cheap and simply aweful. They should be required to work 12 hours of hard labor everyday. Then when the prisoner has completed the work shift, I think that it is only fair to be woken up every two hours and change a rancid diaper, unclog toilets, listen to someone cry or scream for two hours. What single parent has not experienced that?
I should say that there are certain reasons that the custodial parent should have some level of understanding when child support may be late. When the other parent loses a job, or is injured or if there is a major tragic event in the other parent’s family, sometimes there is no way to avoid being late, still the effort should be made to rectify the problem as soon as possible. Communication here is the key. Single parents learn to face adversity head on; approach these issues sensitively. As tough as it is to do, the first time child support is ever late, do not start firing off canons and writing articles on Yahoo! Be tolerant and patient when it is rare circumstance. Picking your battles will benefit you in the end.
As far as those that are always late or fail to pay at all, I have no mercy.
To all the single moms and dads out there, working yourself to death to make ends meet, I tip my hat. I do truly know your trials all too well.
For all you deadbeats that had the nerve to read this, change your ways! You can run and you can hide, but eventually you will face your failure.
And so it goes that my insane methods of collecting child support will probably never be legal, or even somewhat acceptable, but we can always hold hope. But I beg you an answer, better off dead or deadbeat?