WEEK 7
Feeling a little out of sorts today. Could be the Mexican man wanting to pour chili powder on the mango I purchased from him this morning, or maybe it’s because there is a game being played in England today and I can sense the lack of U.S.-European NFL balance…
CHRONOLOGICAL RANDOMNESS
I don’t care what a player does after a game. If you get beat and go to the bar, fine. You play a game for a living. If you move on with life after then that is okay with me.
I enjoy the moments immediately after I write a joke more than when I present my creation to the world. I’d imagine that feeling shift is similar to how Einstein felt about E=mc2 becoming the atomic bomb.
If I ever get to host my own sports show I’ll demand I be allowed to swear. Sports fans swear for fuck sakes! See? I’ve always been curious about the phrase “for fuck sake”. What happens for the sake of fuck? I think the problem is I need to look up the word sake… That or not expect good grammar with when talking about a good swear.
I’m scared of NFL players. Humans shouldn’t be bigger and faster than a smart car. Come to think of it, I’m afraid of most things in life. Chief among these fears is a snake swimming up through the toilet I’m sitting on and biting me on my testicles.
People have been telling me to try and be positive, not negative. Can I meet them half way and just be neutral?
Anyone ever worry that someone has hacked your email and are taking out all the interesting messages? I’d like to receive more emails that aren’t about an unclaimed prized or my dick size. Anyone know where a fella can get a pen pal? Not a dirty one…
If I had to fight one Mortal Combat character it would be Scorpion so I could see what that thing he shoots out of his hands is made out of… if it’s just rope then I’m disappointed.
Looking for a job is like trying to sack the quarterback only by trying to sack the quarterback I mean eat regularly and sleep indoors.
You may notice a lack of football related content here… this season is a little boring. However, I am looking forward to watching Doug Flutie 2 play quarterback for the Denver Broncos.
LIONS FUND:
(When I save enough I buy the team and lead them to the Promised Land.)
Last week: $0.00
This week: $11.42
I don’t know what “credit memo” means other than I now have $11.42 in my account. I also will never find out because you don’t ask questions when there is magical money in your account.
1 THING FROM EVERY SOME GAMES:
ATL 23 @ DET 16
Lions lose and Stafford may be injured… forget everything I said… it’s hopeless. It is time to shut down Detroit; not only as a team, but as a city. Wait, positive… okay one more chance Detroit.
CHI 24 @ TB 18
I just don’t believe that people in England are that excited about football. I’ve been there and all they said about it was “bloody cunts have to wear all that padding”. So excuse me for being skeptical…
DEN 18 @ MIA 15
It’s nice to see a guy who will lead a 4th quarter comeback and not just throw an interception instead.
SD 21 @ NYJ 27
Phillip Rivers. Some people picked you for their fantasy football teams… You’re aware of this right?
SEA 3 @ CLE 6
When did Cleveland and Seattle get hockey teams? Okay, that’s easy, I know… I’m sorry… sometimes you are bad at things. This weeks blog may be one of those times?