5 Things NOT to Say to a Bride-to-Be

by on March 7th, 2015
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Telling people about a new engagement can be very exciting for a bride-to-be, but everyone seems to have an opinion when it comes to weddings. Family, co-workers, friends, even that lady on the bus, will share their unsolicited advice about the big day. Wedding planning can cause otherwise polite people to say some pretty rude things. Avoid uttering these five phrases to a newly engaged couple.

Time to get to the gym!

Losing weight for the wedding day is so expected. It’s just assumed that a future bride wants to be her skinniest self. The idea is to appear your best for the pictures, which will forever represent you and your wedding day. While some brides will choose to get more fit for their wedding day, many women are happy with the way they look now and have no desire to spend time or money at the gym. Insinuating that the bride-to-be needs to lose weight is rude. Avoid any mention of the gym unless she brings it up first.

I better be invited to your wedding!

Many couples today pay for their own wedding, and so are working on a strict budget. A limited guest list is tough. The bride and groom are already agonizing over who among their beloved will get cut, and they don’t need any more pressure from acquaintances demanding an invite. Even if you know the bride and groom have plenty of open slots to give away, it is always their choice whom they would like to share your day with. And it might not be you.

But you have to…!

There only things that “have to” be included in a wedding are a bride, a groom, an officiant, and some witnesses. Everything else is just a kick-ass party. So the bride and groom don’t “have” to do anything. She doesn’t have to wear a white dress or carry a bouquet of real flowers. There doesn’t have to be cake or a first dance, or even any dancing at all. The wedding should reflect the bride and the groom. If a couple chooses to have a traditional wedding, it should be because that is how they want to celebrate, not because certain family members or coworkers think that Hitler will rise from the grave if the garter doesn’t get tossed.

What will people think?
This one is tied closely to “But you have to….!” Many people have a very strict idea of the components of a wedding, and worry about any details that deviate from the norm. What will Grandma think of the candy bar? Will Mother’s friends think that the groom’s Chuck Taylors are tacky? The thing is, a wedding is all about what the couple thinks! If the couple likes it, then the opinions of others are a non-issue. Cousin Sally would never dream of serving pie instead of a four-tiered cake! But this isn’t cousin Sally’s wedding. Asking this question will only annoy a confident bride and cause unnecessary anxiety to an unsure couple.

Don’t worry about including him in the planning.

Men should be encouraged to take an active role in planning an event that is just as much about them as the woman. And many grooms are ready to give their opinions on everything from food to music. He’s probably got ideas on what he wants to wear and what vows he will say to his future bride. While it is true that many men aren’t nearly as excited about wedding planning as the bride, his opinion should always be considered. Weddings are about the joining of two people into a new family, and each family member should get an equal say in how the day is celebrated.


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