I can only assume that Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close has a different meaning to different people depending on how they interpreted the creative writing and pictures which Jonathan Foer included in his book. Some may say the book is about curiosity and the drive someone has to find the truth, others may find the book to be about the desire to reunite with lost loved ones. To me, this book is not only about grief, but it’s about love. It’s about how to handle and control the love you give and the love given back to you, and how to, if necessary, let go of that love.
Throughout the book, many of the characters struggle with their loved ones. These struggles usually result from the love shared between the characters. This occurs with Oskar’s grandparents while they live together within their “something” and “nothing” spaces, it occurs with Oskar and his mom because Oskar is beginning to rebel, and it is occurring between Oskar and his father because he doesn’t want to let go of his father.
“So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go!” (p. 153)
One of the people who help Oskar the most is his grandmother. They talk all the time about any problems one another may be having. The last thing she would ever want is for Oskar to get hurt, and she tries to tell him how to prevent that. You should never love someone too much, because when they leave you’ll have nothing left. “I hope you never love anything as much as I love you.” (p. 73) She knows this from experience, and she doesn’t want Oskar to make the same mistake. Not only does loving someone too much create an ungodly amount of grief when they leave, but it can create discomfort between the two.
Throughout the novel, Oskar struggles with his father’s death. He continues his search for the lock which fits the key in hopes it will solve one last huge mystery left by his father. When it doesn’t, Oskar is disappointed to say the least. However, in a way Oskar lets go. He confesses about the messages left by his father and he and his grandfather fill his coffin with letters. Oskar then wishes that everything had happened backwards. Because that way his dad would still be with him, and they would all be safe. And for Oskar, that’s enough.
“It’s the tragedy of loving, you can’t love anything more than something you miss.” (p. 208)