Phoneapause: The natural or unnatural cessation of cell phone access.
Symptoms include: Hot flashes from frustration due to lack of access to text messaging. Sleep disturbances, generally caused by nightmares of your social life withering away. Fatigue from the onset of the anxiety experienced once you see the screen of your cell turn from normal, to psychedelic-rainbow, to black, all in 15 second span. Depression, upon the realization that there is no hope for your cellular device.
Although common, it’s a serious disease. Many Americans have suffered from Phoneapause. For some, it’s been so long, they don’t even remember how a cell phone works, relying mainly on email, Facebook, AIM, and in the most severe cases, Myspace, for means of communication.
It’s a long and difficult road to recovery, but with some help, encouragement and therapy, it’s possible to conquer this disease. For some, all it takes is a replacement iPhone, Blackberry, Android, or beat up Samsung flip-phone. Spirits are generally lifted upon returning missed text messages and examining voicemails that the patient has been too depressed to listen to from someone else’s cellular device.
If these symptoms sound familiar, contact a local mobile phone retail location immediately. Just remember, you too can beat Phoneapause.