January 1, 2011
Well, I have spent the day assembling my things for the journey. This would be no vacation! It was an adventure! And, according to the Ancient Society of Adventurers, when going on an adventure, at some time during the adventure, you must wish you were somewhere else but on your adventure. That is how you know you’re truly on an adventure, and not just a vacation! So, you have to pack and prepare yourself for just such an adventure and not a vacation! That is the rule. And of course rules are rules, otherwise they would be suggestions.
So, I took down my steamer trunks, suitcase, bags, grips and other assorted baggage and dutifully began packing away. Of course, I would have tasked Mrs. Glean with this, however, she had invoked Union Housekeeping Rule #224, which clearly states that housekeepers will only pack bags on the third day of the month, and only on those months that being with an A, as in April or August. And, this was January, so by union rules; she could not pack any bags for me!
So, I packed my finest speaking clothes, my finest adventuring clothes, my finest evening clothes, and of course my finest afternoon and morning wear. When, traveling it is very important to look your grandest! One can never be sure who one will meet when out and about, and looking your best is paramount among the Ancient Order of Knights Inc. As they say in the Order “You never get a second chance to make a first impression!”
I also brought down my special bag! Every Knight of the Ancient Order of Knights is given a special bag in which they keep their assorted Knightly tools, Knightly Books, Knightly Holy Waters, Knightly Holy Dust, and other items that are given to a Knight to aid them in their quest to seek out the Forces of Darkness and to stop them in their most evil, malicious, and troublesome ways.
Every wizard has his bag of tricks; every Knight of the Ancient Order Inc. has theirs!
Of course, being a Knight of the 1st degree, my Knightly bag was rather light, and it would take some time to assemble all my tools, but you have to start somewhere. Now, not knowing how long I would be gone, or what I would be facing on this most perilous journey, I decided I would go ahead and take everything, not that I had that much mind you. I guess I said that already.
I would need to requisition from the Ancient Order some replacement goods and equipment. I was rather low on Holy Water and Holy Dust. And, you should never be low on Holy Water. Besides, if you’re thirsty, it makes a dandy tea or lemonade. Speaking of lemonade, I was rather thirsty. “Mrs. Glean how about a glass of lemonade” I yelled down the stairs to that most challenging of employees of mine.
“Why thank you professor, I think I will have one” she retorted with a chortle.
“For me woman, for me! I am quite parched from my labors!” I yelled back, rather put off by her manners and her self-centered mannerisms. It was always about her, not me. And, I am her employer mind you!
“Sorry, I cannot hear you professor, I am very busy down here.” She retorted again. I would swear this woman was testing my patience and my employer goodwill. I would have to remember this at her yearly evaluation, which was coming up. But for now, I needed to get my equipment in order and my car loaded. And, I had so much to carry. “Mrs. Glean, I need you” I yelled to that now and again housekeeper of mine.
I did say this adventure would be fraught with danger, did I not?