I have had two dates with a very nice guy unlike any other man I have ever dated before. He is kind, caring, educated, career orientated, a dedicated father, and pretty innocent in regards to life experiences. You would think a girl like me would chew him up in a heartbeat then spit him out after the initial satisfaction.
That is what I normally would do with a guy like this anyway…. I tend to lean towards the “bad guys”, those jerks that use and abuse. I believed I was not good enough for a “good guy”. I believed if I let myself fall in love with a “good guy” I would get my heart broken.Even though the “bad guys” always broke my heart, I felt like since I knew I was going to get hurt, that it would not be so bad.
Therefore, after realizing that I cannot go my whole life allowing the “bad guys” break my heart and ruin my life, I figure that I will give the nice guy a chance.
Date one went well; we ended it with a handshake, awkward as that sounds, I was grateful he allowed it and did not try to get a kiss. This showed me great respect.
Date two was a few days later, we met for drinks, which was a little odd for me. I wondered his motives, but we had a nice time playing pool and talking. I suggested we go back to his place for a movie.
Although he mentioned the big TV was in his room, we stayed on the love seat in his living room. A little bit into the movie, he got us a blanket to snuggle under, and we held hands. It felt very natural and comfortable, although my heart was racing for the first few moments. I felt like a teenager.
I honestly could have falling to sleep the movie seemed so long, and knowing I had a long drive, I opted to not finish the movie and headed home. He walked me to the door where we hugged, shared a small shy kiss. He kissed my forehead when I lowered my head to signal that was all the kissing I was ready for.
It was a nice second date, I felt no rush to the bedroom, I felt no pressure to step up the intimacy.
Now for our third date: I know it is an old school of thought to have sex on the third date, but I am not even close to being ready for a physical relationship. We went to a Piston’s game. It was a very nice time, and I was very excited to do something so different.
Going to a basketball game for a third, date allowed me to see him in an atmosphere in which he was a little more comfortable. I learned a little more about his personality and his past dreams. Basketball was a big part of his youth.
When the game was over and we made it back to his place, I started my car before heading inside, it was late, and hanging out much longer would not be sending the signal I wanted to send.
Once inside, we made a few jokes, and finished our conversation. When I knew that my car would be nice and warm we said goodbye, shared a kiss that showed our interest in each other, then I turned to leave… knowing the date didn’t have to end, but also knowing I would regret sleeping with him before knowing my feelings for him.
In 2011 I was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. I had two surgeries to remove the cancer, both were very invasive. When a women goes through the traumatic experience of her own body betraying her, she learns to have a little more respect for her body.
I want to be true to myself and respect my body, and my heart. Yes, I have a child, and a past, but that does not mean I am not worth waiting for. So many women think they have to give away their bodies to keep a guy interested, but I think he will respect you more if you hold out until you know if he is going to be in your life for the long haul, or if he is just making a quick pass through.