They say that in life, you will never know what another person felt until you actually experience the real situation. Well, today I actually experience how it really feels to have a bad day at work, it was so bad that all i wanted to do was just to quit and go home. I just started my new job at KFC about five weeks ago and believe me, if I weren’t poor and broke I would have quit and stayed home until I find something more compatible with my lifestyle.
I was dying for this day to be over. I cried to God in my heart and when my hour had come I was led by the Holy Spirit to a tranquil place. I was in no condition to go home. Tired and depressed as I was, I could not take me home to my wife today because I figured I had been quite unfair enough to her already, all those other days when I threw my bitter wrath in her face because I was depressed or disappointed about a situation in my life. Today I decided to let go and let God do for me what I or no one else could not do for myself. I felt like John on the Isle Of Patmos this evening because I found myself all alone out in the sea just waiting for the Lord to reveal something special to me. For someone like me who is tired and depressed and at times even suicidal and not only wish I could quit this job but also this life; what better place to be than away from this world which is making me sick; on the rock of life out in the calm blue Caribbean sea with the evening sun about to retire and the warmth of the evening breeze just soothes my soul.
I turned off the ringing from my cell phone and pretend there is no signal so that nobody can disrupt this sweet, blissful meditative moment. Then I took out my notepad and remembered that I use to be a writer and that each day of my life always writes its own sentence and these years are the paragraphs, but then I also wondered what my life will be like when it is complete. And so now I began to write all that you have been reading from above and all that you will read hereafter. I just write and write and write without a cause for a cause, because even though the professionals may call this free-writing but I believe there is a message in this type of writing that the writer will not understand until he`s finished. On my way from work I had so much on my mind that I wanted to write soon as the Lord brought me to my place of rest but all that had disappeared by the time I got settle here but I guess it`s all part of the healing process of being here.
You know, life is so much different out here and you also see things differently. Adjacent to me is a beach where people are having fun with themselves. Immediately behind me is the main thoroughfare of Gloucester avenue otherwise called the ‘Hip Strip’ with hotels and restaurants along the roadway. All the way yonder and posing in front of me like a little island is Montego Freeport which is the destination of all ships to Montego Bay but right now there`s only two cargo ships docking at the wharf. Everything just seem so miniature in sight from here and I am convinced that the Lord brought me here for a special reason and it feels so good even after a bad day, and all i`m doing is just writing away without fear or favor or any care of what`s happening out there because I am in my own world now. I asked for an escape and the Lord led me here as a means to break free from that troubled world. I have no money, no friends, no family, no material possession, except for my pen, my notepad and a prayer in my heart asking the Lord to take all my troubles away and throw them as far as possible to the bottom of the sea and thanking him for all that he has done for me and all he is doing now.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh lord my strength and my redeemer. Amen.