The easiest part of choosing the vegetarian lifestyle was giving up on meat. The hardest was marrying my lifestyle with that of others-in particular my parents. My mother took my choice as a betrayal: an attack on how I was raised.
“She wasn’t raised like this,” she lamented during a meltdown at a family dinner a couple of years ago. “No one in this family eats like this. I don’t know how to break her of this kind of thinking. It was bad enough when she gave up pork when she was 14.” Mind you, she was talking about a thirty-something year old.
My stepfather had to step in and mediate for us over this scene. Looking back to move forward, there were some things I later did that I could have done early on to alleviate potential parental blowups.
Here are some tips to save both yourself and your parents some heartache in your converting to the vegetarian lifestyle:
Sharing your decision: Share with your parents reasons why you chose to become a vegetarian. Whatever the reason, divulging your intent behind your choice may help understanding come a little easier. I chose the vegetarian lifestyle because it helped me feel healthier. Meat just seemed to weigh down on my stomach so heavily. Once my mother fully understood that my choice was not an attack on how my parents raised me, she came back and told me that she understood. She shared with me that meat too sits heavy on her stomach, so she could relate.
Provide research: Sharing articles with your parents on healthy vegetarian lifestyles may decrease some of their angst about their concerns for your health. They may be concerned about the nutritional value of your new diet. Directing them to some literature and assuring them that you’ll have a nourishing diet can help matters. Some resources for sharing the vegetarian lifestyle may be found at The Vegetarian Resource Group and VegOnline. Be flexible: Parents may feel anxious about accommodating your vegetarian diet when hosting meals. My vegetarian diet isn’t strict, as I’m a pescatarian (I eat seafood), and for dishes that have sparse meat, I don’t mind picking out any meat pieces. For those with a more strict vegetarian diet, providing suggestions for dishes may be helpful. I always offer my parents ideas for dishes that would work for me. And I have at times brought my own vegetarian dishes for family meals that make it easier for my parents but also expose them to some meat-less delights. Give them a friendly reminder: My parents have invited me before to get togethers hosted by other relatives or friends. “Ops! I forgot to mention that you don’t eat meat,” were words uttered by my mom just before we headed out to dinner at a relative’s. The worst thing in the world is to go to a get together and insult the host by not eating. A way to avert this disaster is to remind your parents about your diet or by directly contacting the host to the event to let them know about your dietary needs.
I’ve been a vegetarian for a few years, and now and then, I have to revisit some of the above tips with my parents, as from time to time, a reminder is necessary. But keeping some of these tips in mind may help make your parental acclamation process much more pleasant.