After being gainfully employed for almost 14 years, I suddenly found myself without a job. I know I’m not alone in this, as there are SO many others who have a similar story.
For me, I had been doing the same thing for so long, that it had consumed my life. I had spent more time at work than I got to spend with my family.
When I wasn’t at work anymore, the first couple of days was definitely weird. It fell more like an extended weekend than anything else. Then after about the 3rd day, everything just kind of slapped me bold in the face. It all of a sudden hit me that I wasn’t “Sarah”. I was known as “Office Manager at XYZ Co.” Somewhere along the way, I let my job & my occupation define me & who I was. It scared me & actually brought me to tears.
By nature, I’m not a worrier, but this severely concerned me. I was scared that that’s the only thing people knew me as- an Office Manager for XYZ Co. & that no one truly knew me, well as me.
For a couple of days after that, I actually retreated from looking for jobs in my experience field. I would look at any other job but that. I felt damaged & hurt. I felt incompetent & obsolete. I know that many others out there are feeling these exact feelings. I wanted to do something different & learn something new. Perhaps if I did that, then these horrible feelings would go away. I felt that somehow this current status as “unemployed” was a direct reflection of how well I knew my job & to the level of how I performed. It took a day or two for me to realize that this was absolutely not true.
Wanting to try something new & learning a new skill was just the lifelong-learner mentality in me. It wasn’t because I wasn’t good at what I did. It was because that’s who I am.
Too many of us are defined by our professions or titles or the company we are employed by. But that’s not truly who we are.
We are taught that we must pick 1 area of expertise & pursue that as a career. But that career does not tell the whole story about who you are as a person.
Everyday I read the obituaries. Yes, I know it sounds a bit morbid, but actually reading them is quite a beautiful thing. The written obituaries reveal so much about this person & who they were & how they lived their life. There might be a sentence or two about where they worked or what their profession was. But the rest of what’s written about them is about their family, their hobbies, people who were important to them, things they loved & what others loved about them.
It saddens me that these brief statements when someone passes away, is maybe the only time they are recognized for everything in their life. Instead while we are living we are only recognized for “what we do” by what kind of job we have.
This whole experience of being unemployed has taught me a few things-
First & foremost, I am Sarah. I am not defined by my position, title or company. I am defined by the person I am.
Second, Just because 1 person or company doesn’t need me anymore, doesn’t mean that I am incompetent or obsolete. It might be the perfect opportunity to pursue something new & different.
Last, I do not want my obituary to be the only time people know who I truly am or know what kind of person I am.
Believe in yourself, rise above adversity & don’t let others define who you are.
You define who you are.
Period.