A friendly “hello, how are you” is never enough. People never stop long enough to really hear the answer. If they did, maybe so many of us would not slip through the cracks of the pavement.
“Forget about me, I’m just a dirty old man slummin’ in the streets! All I’m askin’ for is change!”
“I don’t have any money.”
He thinks I cannot see him shrinking away from me in fear. I can hear the cogs in his mind moving because they’re dangerously loud and honestly, he thinks I’m being lazy. I know he’s judging me and I can’t stand his harsh assumptions. I can’t stand it so I get angry.
The people in this city walk past me during their daily routines and I’ve begun to see through their exchanges. No one cares. No one really cares but me. We’re in this selfish age where we take before its taken away by someone else. I just didn’t take fast enough and now, I’m stuck.
“Can you spare some change, sir?”
“No-“
“Well, can you stand to chat for a bit? I could use a talking to.”
“I’m sorry but I-” he says before his sentence trails off. He can’t even bare to finish. I make him that uncomfortable. Can’t he understand that I’m stuck? I sit there, thinking some more until a woman walks by.
“Ma’am, have you smiled today? Have you had a belly aching laugh today?”
“What?”
“What I mean is, have you stopped to smell the flowers today?”
She walks away faster than the man before her and this just makes me sad. I really felt like she needed a real conversation today. No such luck. No luck for me in this world and no one to listen to her troubles. I sensed her pain but she didn’t want to share it.
My routine is simple. I ask a man for some change. No luck. I ask another about their day, maybe I can make someone smile. And just maybe, no one will walk away from me in fear, in jest, in hate.
Maybe someone will finally sit beside me and hold my hand just because I’m not asking for change, only a small change in their day.