Best Bill Cosby Quotes and Jokes

What are the best Bill Cosby quotes and jokes? Well that is a matter of opinion. Here are, in my opinion, the best Bill Cosby quotes and jokes.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER ONE
A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER TWO
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER THREE
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER FOUR
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER FIVE
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER SIX
I wasn’t always black… there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER SEVEN
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER EIGHT
Old is always fifteen years from now.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER NINE
Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER TEN
When you become senile, you won’t know it.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER ELEVEN
Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER TWELVE
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER THIRTEEN
I am not the boss of my house. I don’t know when I lost it. I don’t know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss’s job and I do not want it.

BEST BILL COSBY QUOTES AND JOKES NUMBER FOURTEEN
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you into this world, I’ll take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.”


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