I have straddled both sides of the parental fence. When my twins were toddlers they shared a room, and that was just the way it was. They shared the room for seven years because we were dirt poor and could only afford a two bedroom apartment. They would often ask for a room of their own, but I used to think it was a want and not a necessity. After 10-years-of separate bedroom bliss, I stand corrected.
As my kids got older and as I got better with money, we moved into a larger house. Here, they each got their own room and I realized — after a short jaunt over to the dark side– there was no turning back.
Privacy
I don’t know a child alive that doesn’t value his or her privacy, all kids need it. Having a room of her own gave each one of my girls an opportunity to express themselves; choosing what they hung on their walls, displayed on shelves and even what they hung – or didn’t — in their closets. In a family of five, self-expression is vital to survival, even if it’s just mom’s.
Organization
I am a firm believer that there is a place for everything and everything needs to find its proper place. When my kids shared a single bedroom, it was chaotic. I couldn’t distinguish between what belonged where, or to whom. When they moved into their own rooms, they each had a sense of what they owned and what they did not. Granted, this didn’t cut down on arguments, but it did cut down on the chaos and disorganization -especially when it came to finding items before school.
Quality Time
With each kid having a space to retreat to in order to decompress – and teenagers genuinely need this – it makes for better family time in the common areas of the house. I.e. you are less likely to whack your teenager. (If you don’t have teenagers, don’t judge me).
The trick for me was to find a balance in between the time the girls spent in their bedrooms versus the time they spend in the game room, family room or kitchen. Just like with everything else having to with rearing younglings, it’s all about finding the right balance for your family. This took a little time, but I got the hang of it by the dreaded preteen years.
Granted, not every family has the luxury of being able to offer each child in the brood his or her own room. For several years our finances didn’t allow us to live in adequate space. Now that they do, however, our kids do have lavishly decorated boudoirs complete with scads of newfangled technology, gadgets and computers. We keep it simple, but the benefits to us for each girl having her own space far outweighed the alternate option of having multiple kids share a single bedroom, for several reasons. If you have the resources why not allocate some space for your kids to have a room of their own? You might just have a happier family for it.
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