Today is Jan. 3, and I haven’t yet chosen a New Year’s Resolution. I’ve realized something: they don’t make sense. They simply aren’t logical or real. In three months, when it’s March and nobody even remembers New Year’s, because we’re all so focused on everything we’re doing (be it work, school or something else), who’s going to think, “Oh, no, I’m not going to eat that Oreo because it’s 2012.” Nobody. Maybe you’re not going to eat that Oreo because you’re watching your weight or trying to curb your sugar intake, but not just because it’s 2012. So why do people choose New Year’s to make changes? It simply doesn’t make sense to me. Why not try at some other time of year? What’s the significance of it being a new year? There isn’t any. What makes a “New Year” so special, when odds are, you should have made the decision to lose some weight or join a gym months, or even years ago?
Secondly, no one ever sticks to their New Year’s resolution. Gyms make their most money in signing yearly contracts in January, when odds are people will stop coming to the gym by the Valentine’s Day. Companies make their money because of the New Year. If everyone who signed up for a gym membership actually came every day, or even once a week, for the entire year, the gyms would be packed like sardines. There would literally be no room to exercise.
This year, I’m going to continue my ambition to become a production assistant for a Hollywood film. It’s been my goal forever, and nothing about it changes because it’s 2012 now. I mean, the only thing that does is that I have to remember to write 1/3/2012 instead of /2011. That’s it. So please everybody, stop giving yourself false hope.