How did Kelso get the keys to the kingdom? I’ve been trying to resist thinking that this is so, but it is so. Ashton Kutcher makes television better. Much like Ted McGinley (no offense, love you man) was the kiss of death for shows (Happy Days, Love Boat, Dynasty, and almost Married With Children) Ashton Kutcher seems to make shows better; even if he is just creating them and not in a starring role. Beauty and the Geek was a masterpiece that he needs to revive. He singlehandedly carried That ’70s Show through the lean years. Now he gets his chance to save Two and a Half Men. Will he do it? Most likely he will. Here are 10 other shows that Ashton Kutcher should be called upon to shake things up on, reenergize, or just bring back from the near-dead state where they reside.
10) Survivor. Great show. One of the best reality shows ever. The show is doing just fine but wouldn’t it be great if Ashton Kutcher was able to be on it for a season? He wouldn’t be there as a competitor. No, he would be there playing his That ’70s Show Kelso character. Each week Kelso would go to one of the tribes and just Kelso-around or Kelso-up everything. He could toss smoke bombs into the homemade sleeping quarters. He could sing hilarious campfire songs. He could start food fights. Pretty much be the wonderful Kelso that we all loved.
9) America’s Got Talent. This show isn’t failing either but this season (2011) the talent just isn’t as up to par as in previous years. Ashton Kutcher shouldn’t be a judge. The three they have work perfectly together. Nick Cannon is fine, too. Ashton Kutcher should be a new addition. His job should be that of the Gong Master. When the judges fail to X a bad performance Ashton Kutcher has the chance to override them by smacking a giant gong. Or, why not have him mix it up more? One time he can smack a gong, next time he could ring a cowbell, or play the triangle, or toot a tuba. The possibilities are limitless. Much unlike the contestants’ talent.
8) Friday Night Lights. This recently canceled show was one of the best shows ever to grace the small screen. How could Ashton Kutcher save Friday Night Lights? Pay for another season. It was financial problems that ultimately doomed this show.
7) Jersey Shore. This show’s 15 minutes of fame are ticking past minute 14, quickly. Honestly, the show shouldn’t be saved because it is awful, but Ashton Kutcher could change it and save it. How would he do this? Simple. Ashton joins the cast as the brainiac. He would be the complete opposite of Kelso. He could quote Shakespeare, wear a tweed jacket, do math problems for fun, read books, be Mr. Straight Edge. This would have to be genuine. Send in the opposite personality of all the crazies in the house. This would give the show a second dimension and make it, possibly, worth watching.
6) WWE Monday Night Raw. Wrestling’s heyday has long since gone the way of the dodo. Why? Part of the blame is because everybody tries to act like a mean tough guy. There are no good guys. The line between good and evil has been blurred into oblivion. It’s no longer fun to root for the good guys since the good guys act like the bad guys. Ashton Kutcher could save wrestling if he became a return-to-form good guy. Ashton Kutcher the wrestler would be a career-altering chance that only he could pull off. He would have to do all the things that good guys used to do – wear red, white, and blue trunks, talk to the kids, never cheat… If done correctly, he could save pro wrestling. And he should wear a mask.
5) How I Met Your Mother. This show is pure funny. It is consistent, well-written, well-acted, and just plain enjoyable. So why would they want to ruin all of that? The show is toying with the idea of letting Lily (Alyson Hannigan) get pregnant. Don’t they know that when you introduce a baby to a sitcom the sitcom ends. Why why why? Don’t mess with perfection. NO BABY. So, how would Ashton Kutcher save How I Met Your Mother? He would have to join the cast and punch Lily in the stomach, hard. Kidding! He would have to be the little voice of reason that dresses as an angel and sits on one shoulder of the person contemplating a bad decision. Topher Grace would be the devil on the other shoulder. Ashton would convince Lily that having a child is a horrible idea, thus saving the show.
4) Futurama. Futurama is one of the best animated shows of our generation. It doesn’t pander to the stupid masses. It doesn’t make you feel dumb after watching it. And it certainly doesn’t take the low road approach to comedy. Why, then does Futurama need saving? Because this latest season (2011) has been pretty bad. Most of the episodes have been mediocre at best. Ashton Kutcher would be able to save it is he could have a guest starring role in an episode as himself. And he can’t be animated. Have him be real flesh and blood. That would be a mix-up nobody would see coming.
3) Freaks and Geeks. This show, created by Judd Apatow back in 1999 only lasted for one season. It was one of the best seasons any show could hope to have. Freaks and Geeks was a one-hit wonder. No. It was the one-hit wonder. It deserved a better fate. It should still be on the air. How could Ashton Kutcher save a show cancelled years ago? He could either invent time travel and go back and convince the studio to keep the show, or he could use the millions of followers he has on Twitter to convince them to buy the Freaks and Geeks dvd and start a petition to get the show back on the air.
2) The Price Is Right. Buy the company, fire Drew Carey, re-hire Bob Barker. Drew is great, and hilarious, but this isn’t the right place for him. Or, we could just have Ashton Kutcher host the show. He’d be remarkable.
1) LOST. To make this simple let me just say that LOST was the greatest show ever on television and it is greater than any show that will ever be created in the future. It’s the best. Ashton Kutcher could save this show if he could bring it back, but that’s not happening. So make a spinoff. Have a Post-LOST series that focuses on Hurley’s time as the leader. Ashton could be Hurley’s island friend who we can’t tell if he’s real or imaginary. He could somehow be tied to the overall mystery of the Island. Or he could be the new Smoke Monster. Just try something, please. If anyone could rescue LOST from cancelation it is Ashton Kutcher.