I have retired friends who want to spend most of their time at my house, because they are afraid their wives may have too many chores waiting for them. I ask them why did they retire if they were going to spend the rest of their lives ducking and dodging someone? No not me, I have plans to do as I please.
Although I have no immediate recollection or knowledge of the circumstances surrounding the event, I’ve been told that when I was born someone whacked me on the bottom in an attempt to make me cry. As time passed during my childhood someone continued to literally and figuratively whack me on my bottom or some other bodily part in an attempt to get me to obey.
I will be the first to admit that as a child, I had no clue or any way to discern what was required of me. It must have been very difficult for me to fully comprehend what the grown-ups wanted me to do. When I didn’t cry I was whacked and when I continued to cry I was whacked.
As I became knowledgeable of what was expected of me, I would attempt to comply. However, being a child was very difficult and no matter how hard I attempted to comply with my parents wishes and demands I just couldn’t live up to their numerous demands. After all, how with my little brain would I be able to digest all that was being conveyed to me?
After being punished for so many transgressions I asked my mother when would I be in charge of my own life so I wouldn’t have to answer to anyone? I was told that when I became aware of the rules of life that I would be able to take control of my own life and make all the necessary decisions that needed to be made.
Boy was I happy. I couldn’t wait for the day I would be in control of my own life and would not have to answer to anyone. After learning my ABCs and learning how to count, I would ask my mother if I was there yet? However, I should have known better because I was still being punished for doing certain things.
When I entered the first grade I asked her if I was there yet? She told me that I would have to finish high school. What a bleak picture I thought. Here I am six years old and the thought of waiting until I was seventeen to be in charge was not an inspiring picture. I asked her if I could in any way circumvent the process by being smart or acting older than my age?
No good. When I finished high school, the bar had moved again. I was told that I would have to finish college, so I enrolled in college. Wouldn’t you know it, before I entered college; I was drafted into the military.
The first thing I encountered was this huge sergeant ordering me around. It was as if the whole system in life from the date of birth to the grave was geared toward someone running my life.
After serving two years in the military, I was able to land a job. Even before I worked any hours, I was given a long list of what I could and couldn’t do. I thought to myself that at least my mother could have been honest and explained to me that I would never be in charge.
I subsequently got married and the man who stood before us read more orders which I was to follow.
After working to the ripe old age of retirement, I went to the personnel office to receive further instructions. I really had no interest in going, because at my age, I was tired of taking all of those orders.
I was not really interested in what she was saying until I heard her say that I would receive a certain amount of money for the rest of my life. My ears perked up. I asked if she would repeat that? She said the same thing again. I asked if she was telling me that for the rest of my life I would receive a pay check for doing nothing? She replied that is correct. She further stated I had earned it.
I was so overwhelmed that I began to cry. At this point I apologized to my deceased mother for doubting her about being in control. I concluded that this was the moment she was talking about.
I knew that in order for me to acquire my full independence certain steps and notifications would be necessary.
Knowing I couldn’t be fired and I would receive a check for the rest of my life, I became very bold. I went to my spouse and laid down the law just as Moses had. I informed her that I would not be taking any more orders from her or anyone else unless I so desired. No more honey do list, no more why I didn’t do this or that. My taking orders days were over.
I will spend the rest of my life being in control of me.
However, I knew I had to be a realist about this situation. I recognized the fact that it would be impossible to declare total independence. In accessing where I actually stood, I came up with only three situations where I would have to modify my independence. As such, I concluded that the Taxman, the Lawman and the Holdup man must be given due respect. Failure to obey their commands could have a deleterious affect.
The Taxman will take all of your property and then put you in jail. The Lawman will beat you up and then have the authority to put you in jail. The Holdup man has no set standards and will therefore do most anything to you.