Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about Perception. The story is called “Joshua’s Experiment In Sending Positive Peer Pressure.”
This conflict resolution story will be helpful to all students who find themselves encountering peer pressure to do something they would rather not do. In this story, Eighth grader Joshua was invited to a party at Dustin’s house. Dustin did his best to negatively peer pressure Joshua into drinking a beer. In return, Joshua did his best to positively peer pressure Dustin into drinking a Pepsi. Who will win?
Click this link to read Sections 1-3 of Middle School lesson plan: Joshua’s Experiment In Sending Positive Peer Pressure
Section 4: Read Perception story: Joshua’s Experiment In Sending Positive Peer Pressure
A. Teacher reads story to the class called “Joshua’s Experiment In Sending Positive Peer Pressure.”
B. Story Description: Eighth grader Joshua was invited to a party at Dustin’s house. Dustin did his best to negatively peer pressure Joshua into drinking a beer. In return, Joshua did his best to positively peer pressure Dustin into drinking a Pepsi. Who will win?
Read Prequel Tale called “Julie’s Big Challenge.”
Click here for Middle School lesson plan: Julie’s Big Challenge
Joshua’s Experiment In Sending Positive Peer Pressure
© 2001 by Debbie Dunn
Chapter 1: Joshua and Julie
Eighth-grader Joshua was invited to a party at Dustin’s house. Earlier that day, his younger sister, Julie, came to his room and quietly said, “Josh?”
Joshua asked, “Yeah, Julie?”
Julie said, “I heard you tell Mom you’re going to Dustin’s party tonight.”
Joshua confirmed, “That’s right! What about it?”
Julie said with a worried frown, “Well, I’ve heard there is always a lot of drinking at his parties.”
Joshua replied, “I’ve heard that too, Julie. But then there is a lot of drinking at a lot of the parties given by teenagers these days.”
Julie looked quite worried all of a sudden as she asked, “You’re not gonna drink, are you?”
Joshua firmly said, “No way, Jules! It’s just that I’ve decided I’m not gonna avoid these parties and hide out like a hermit in my room. That would mean I’m giving in to fear and letting my fear of ‘dying socially‘ control me. There is no way I am going to be a victim of fear that somebody might pressure me to do something I don’t want to do.”
Julie asked, “How are you gonna stand up to it, Josh?”
Joshua commented, “Think about it, Julie. Before Dad died, he spent a lot of time trying to teach us both to be, well, …, not to be mushy about it, but …, well, …, ‘spiritual warriors‘. Or I guess another way to put it is that you and I need to have that warrior spirit.”
Julie nodded as she said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ve never thought about it quite like that before though. So, tell me more.”
Joshua continued, “Okay, I realized that no one can live my life for me but me. Dad’s not around anymore to bail me out. Mom’s great, of course, but there’s only so much she can do. So I am in charge of me. I’m the one in control over the choices I make in life. So if I give in to negative peer pressure, I am essentially handing over the control of my life to someone else. Well, I’m not gonna wimp out like that by letting that happen.”
Joshua hesitated a moment. He wasn’t trying to control his sister at all. But with their Dad gone, he kind of felt like the man of the house. So he said, “And Julie?”
Julie asked, “Yeah, Joshua?”
Joshua said, “I hope you don’t give in to negative peer pressure either. We owe it to Dad’s memory to be stronger than the fear that some kids might only approve of us if we do some or all of the negative junk that they are doing.”
Julie looked quite impressed. She nodded her head in agreement and said, “Wow, Joshua! You’ve been thinking a lot about this, haven’t you?”
Joshua said, “Well, I realized I needed to be prepared so that some kid’s negative peer pressure doesn’t take me by surprise.”
Julie asked, “So how will you stand up to that kind of peer pressure?”
Joshua said, “Well, the way I see it, you and I have two big choices.”
Julie asked, “What’s that?”
Joshua explained, “We can either do what is right or we can do what is easy. It’s the easy way out to say yes to all the negative peer pressure that is out there. That is, it would be easy at the time. But living with the consequences of that choice would NOT be so easy. Think about it, Julie. Some teenager gave into peer pressure to drink because he took the easy way out. Then he drank way too much one night. Then he got even more crazy and tried to drive a car and … .”
Suddenly, Joshua had to turn his back because he didn’t want his younger sister to see the tears coming to his eyes and starting to pour down his face. Julie finished his sentence for him with her own eyes pooling up as well. “And he not only got himself killed, but he killed our Dad as well.”
It had been two years since their father had been killed by a drunk driver. The pain they felt was not the sharp stabbing pain that it was back when they were in sixth grade and fifth grade respectively, but it still hurt. Both Joshua and Julie had adored their father and missed him very much.
There was silence in the room for awhile as well as the occasional sound of sniffles. Finally, both Joshua and his younger sister pulled themselves back together.
Then Joshua continued, “Okay, the right thing is to stay away from drinking. Or let’s say someone has already given in to that negative peer pressure and started drinking or drugging – then he should stop and start his life all over again with a clean slate.”
Julie asked, “How can he do that?”
Joshua said, “By realizing that each day, we are capable of starting our life over and making new and better choices. So all that person would have to do is to wake up one day, decide that, ‘Today is the first day of the rest of my life‘ and then do what is right from now on rather than taking the easy way out.”
Julie said, “That sounds good. I wish … .”
Julie didn’t finish her sentence as she was afraid of starting to cry again. As you can guess, she was wishing the teenage drunk driver had lived his life right and hadn’t killed their father.
Joshua nodded his head. He had the same exact thought. Finally, he said, “Okay, to get back on track of what I’ve been trying to say – negative peer pressure is only successful with kids who are afraid of rejection. The kids who give in to peer pressure are operating from the fear of ‘dying socially‘. The kids who issue negative peer pressure are operating from the fear of being different. They think if they can get other kids to make the same wrong choices they are making, then they would be a good person after all. What they have forgotten is that they are good people already. They have just made some bad choices.”
Julie asked, “Even the kid who killed our Dad?”
Joshua paused for a bit, thinking deeply. Then he said, “You know, Julie. I think we need to start re-phrasing how we talk about that guy. I think we need to realize that he wasn’t the enemy. It was the choices he made and the alcohol he drank that was the enemy – not him. Otherwise, we could get eaten up with bitterness.”
Julie said, “Yeah! You’re right. I think Dad would have told us the very same thing. Thanks for the reminder.”
Joshua continued, “So back to my point. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking – for me; and if it works, maybe for you too. When someone issues negative peer pressure, they are operating out of fear of not being considered to be cool enough or POWERFUL enough or good enough or of whatever else they are afraid of. People who give in to their negative peer pressure are operating out of fear of all those same things. So I figure, in order to stand up to peer pressure, I need to disarm them.”
Julie exclaimed, “Do what?”
Joshua smiled as he repeated, “Disarmament. We learned about it in American History class when we were studying the arms race with the Soviet Union. I looked up disarmament and disarm in the dictionary. I guess I sort of memorized it. Disarm means to ‘divert or deprive of weapons, to render helpless or harmless, and to overcome the hostility of‘. So that got me to thinking about what I might need to disarm myself against, so to speak.”
Julie commented, “I bet you decided it was negative peer pressure. That is the hardest thing ever!”
Joshua nodded his head and said, “Exactly! Just like you, I decided my biggest challenge is negative peer pressure. Now Dad taught us it is okay to attack an action, but it is not okay to attack someone’s personhood. So if I want to ‘render helpless‘ the negative peer pressure coming from a good person, I need to do it with humor and strength and fearlessness.”
Julie asked, “So, Joshua, how will you do that?”
Joshua said, “I’m gonna try to issue some peer pressure right back at them.”
Julie asked, “What kind of peer pressure?”
Joshua stated, “Some positive peer pressure.”
Julie asked curiously, “How do you issue positive peer pressure?”
Joshua explained, “Well, I know that Dustin and some of the guys are gonna give me negative peer pressure at the party tonight. So I figure that I will just send some positive peer pressure in their direction and see what happens. Like for example, I could try to pressure Dustin to drink a soft drink instead of a beer. It will be an interesting experiment, in any case.”
Julie said, “Yeah, it will. Well, let me know how it goes.”
Joshua said, “Sure thing. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.”
Julie walked out of the room. Her big brother had given her a lot to think about.
Later, after dinner that night, Joshua walked into the kitchen where his Mom was washing up and said, “Bye, Mom! My ride is here, so I’m going now.”
Joshua’s Mom smiled as she said, “Bye, Josh! Have a good time.”
Joshua said, “Thanks, I will. You have a good evening too, Mom.”
Joshua waved to Julie who was watching TV in the living room. She waved back. Then she held up her hand to show her big brother that she had her fingers crossed for him.
Chapter 2: Joshua’s Plan A
A few minutes later, Zach’s Dad dropped the two best friends off at Dustin’s house. It had already been arranged that he would come back to pick them up at 11:30 p.m. The time was 8:00 right now.
As Joshua and Zach walked in, they saw that several guys were already at the party, beer cans in hand. There was also a table covered with munchies of various types. The two boys looked around. Then Zach whispered, “Get a load of all the beer! I wonder how he managed to get all that?”
Just then, Dustin walked up from somewhere behind them. He had heard Zach’s comment. He mysteriously said, “Oh, I have my sources.”
Joshua asked, “Where’s your parents, Dustin?”
Dustin shrugged as he said, “Uh, …, they are off at a party of their own. They won’t be home until around 2 a.m. They don’t like hanging around when I have one of my parties.”
Joshua said, “Oh, okay.”
Dustin said, “So, what can I get you guys to drink?”
Joshua smiled bravely and asked, “Do you have anything unleaded?”
Dustin’s forehead knotted up with confusion as he asked, “Unleaded?”
Joshua laughed a bit and explained, “Yeah, you know: Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Mellow Yellow, Sprite, Root Beer – anything like that?”
Dustin shrugged impatiently and said, “Yeah, we have some of that. My parents always insist on buying that junk. But you don’t have to drink that. Have a beer instead.”
Zach looked rather tense at that statement. He didn’t want to have to drink, but he also was afraid of ‘dying socially‘ by losing Dustin’s friendship and respect. Before he could say anything, Joshua said, “Tell you what, Dustin and Zach. How about we three guys have a Coke or Pepsi, whichever you have?”
Zach looked relieved. He knew his Dad would smell his breath when he came later on that night to pick them up. He would most probably ground him if he drank anything alcoholic. But Dustin had other ideas for the three of them and all the guys at the party. He wanted to play the big man and hand out beer to everyone. Dustin said, “Nah! How about the three of us have a beer?”
Now Joshua decided to try out the plan he had come up with earlier. To himself, he called it ‘Plan A‘. So he said, “Tell you what, Dustin. You have a Pepsi or Coke with me, and then I’ll think about having a beer.”
Dustin, believing he would afterward get Joshua to drink a beer, shrugged and said, “Okay, I’ll have a Pepsi. We don’t have any Coke products.”
Joshua said, “That’s okay, Dustin. Hey, Zach! Do you want to have a Pepsi with us?”
Zach nodded his head and said, “Sure! That would be great!”
Zach didn’t know anything about Joshua’s positive peer pressure plan. Joshua had only told his younger sister, Julie, about it.
The three boys each grabbed a Pepsi and chugged it down. When they were finished, Dustin said, “Okay, Joshua. I had a Pepsi. Now you have a beer.”
Joshua laughed a bit and said, “Now wait a minute! I didn’t say I would actually have a beer, I simply said I would think about it if you had a Pepsi with me.”
Dustin asked, “So have you thought about it?”
Joshua said, “I’m still thinking. I’ll get back to you.”
Dustin turned to Zach and asked, “What about you, Zach?”
Zach softly said, “Uh, …, I’m thinking too.”
Dustin shrugged with displeasure as he snapped, “Whatever!” Then Dustin wandered off to hang out with the guys who were drinking beer.
As you probably have guessed, part of Joshua’s ‘Plan A‘ was to stall Dustin as long as possible on the drinking issue. But Dustin was tenacious! Every few minutes, he walked back over to where Joshua and Zach were standing and asked, “Have you decided yet?”
Joshua would say, “Nah! I’m still thinking.”
Zach would repeat, “Yeah! Me, too!”
Chapter 3: Joshua’s Plan B
After about an hour, Dustin came by and once again stated, “All right, Joshua! It’s time for you and Zach to have a beer. You’ve been thinking long enough.”
Then Joshua moved on to ‘Plan B‘. With ‘Plan B‘, Joshua said, “You’re right, Dustin. I have been thinking long enough. I believe it’s time for the three of us to have another Pepsi. That’s my decision. It’s only Pepsi for me. What about you, Zach?”
With a little less confidence, Zach nodded and said, “Yeah! It’s only Pepsi for me, too.”
Dustin frowned. He ordered, “No way! You two need to have a beer.”
Joshua knew that Dustin’s patience was wearing a bit thin; nevertheless, Joshua tried again. “Dustin, why don’t you have another Pepsi with us?”
Dustin snapped, “No way! I want you to have a beer!”
Joshua urged, “Come on, Dustin! Be a sport! Have a Pepsi!”
Dustin exploded, “NOT!!! You guys have a beer!”
Joshua asked, “Dustin, why do you want to drink that nasty-tasting stuff anyway?”
Dustin said, “Aw, it’s not so bad.”
Joshua probed, “But why do you want to drink it? What do you get out of it?”
Dustin stammered for an explanation. “Uh, …, well, …, uh, …, well, …, it’s fun to drink. And cool! And you forget all your worries.”
Zach curiously asked, “Have you ever gotten really drunk or passed out or anything?”
Dustin confirmed, “Well, as a matter of fact, I have gotten really sick from drinking beer. I threw up about five times. Plus, I had the worst hangover the next day!”
Zach asked, “So, why do you drink then?”
Dustin stammered, “Uh, well, …, uh, …, because I do. Now I think you guys should join me and have a beer!”
Zach’s forehead wrinkled with puzzlement as he asked, “Why, so we can throw up or pass out or something?”
Dustin said, “No, because it will be great.”
Joshua urged, “Well, I think it will be great if you have another Pepsi instead.”
Dustin snapped, “No way! You’re not gonna pull that on me again. I’m gonna have a beer, and I want you both to have one too!”
Joshua decided to try a little humor. He realized that once you can laugh at or see the humor in something, it ceases to have any power over you. Joshua knew better than to actually laugh at Dustin, because that would simply act to put him on the defensive. However, he did think he could safely laugh at the negative peer pressure Dustin was trying to issue to them. So with a warm smile and a bit of a chuckle, Joshua said, “That’s kind of funny, isn’t it, Dustin? You want me to have a beer, and I would like you to have a Pepsi. Well, I’m not planning to give in. Are you planning to give in?”
Dustin stated, “No way!”
Joshua reasoned, “Okay, then why don’t we simply agree to disagree?! You drink if that is what you want to do. As for me, I’ll just have another Pepsi and some of your good munchies. That way, we can still be friends and won’t spend our party time arguing. Can you live with that, Dustin?”
Dustin wasn’t very happy about this turn of events, but he did not argue either. He simply nodded his head and staggered off to talk to some of the other guys.
After Dustin wandered off, Zach quietly asked, “Joshua, I don’t get it. How did you get to be so brave?”
Joshua explained, “Well, before my Dad died, he taught me and my sister something really important.”
Zach asked, “What was that?”
Joshua explained, “He learned it from his Grandma. I don’t know who she learned it from. But he said that she said that EVERY ACTION THAT SOMEONE DOES IS EITHER AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR A CRY FOR LOVE.”
Zach said, “That’s kind of deep. What does it mean?”
Joshua said, “Well, if someone puts you down, it is a clear sign that the person is crying out for more love or caring from either his family or special friends. Because he is NOT getting enough love, he is trying to make himself feel better by trying to make someone else feel small and unloved too. Does that make sense?”
Zach said, “Yeah, I guess. And usually it works. Put-downs do make you feel small and unloved.”
Joshua said, “Well, my Dad taught me that it’s far better to simply feel sorry for the person who is putting you down. They are showing their weakness by doing that. It is a sign that they have a disease, in a way. It’s a highly contagious disease too. You’ve just got to realize that they don’t know what they are doing. So you tell them you are NOT gonna take offense as you realize that they are simply showing their INSECURITY. Then you can tell them you sure hope they get to feeling happier with their life and they get the love or caring from others that they need.”
Zach asked, “Your Dad taught you all that?”
Joshua said, “Yeah! He taught me that three years ago, back when I was in the fifth grade and he was … still alive.” Then Joshua shook his head a little sadly, for he still missed his Dad very much. Finally, he said, “He never talked about peer pressure, but I worked that out for myself. I bet you could too.”
Zach asked, “What do you mean?”
Joshua said, “Okay, remember that my Dad’s Grandma said that EVERY ACTION THAT SOMEONE DOES IS EITHER A SIGN OF LOVE OR A CRY FOR LOVE?”
Zach nodded his head, indicating that he still remembered. So Joshua asked, “So which do you think it is when negative peer pressure is going on?”
Zach thought for a bit. Finally, he said, “Hmmmmmmm! Well, it’s kind of a SIGN OF LOVE because they are trying to share what they have. In Dustin’s case, he’s trying to share his beer.”
Joshua nodded. “Yeah! So you got that half right. But what else do you think it is?”
Zach said, “Well, …, um, …, I guess it’s also a CRY FOR LOVE. But I’m not sure I understand why.”
Joshua said, “Okay, I know that a lot of guys get embarrassed if they are the only ones doing something. They want other people to do the same things they are doing so they don’t feel so isolated and INSECURE. So if, for instance, Dustin can talk us into taking a beer, he is gonna feel more SECURE and cared for because we are making the same choices he is making. Do you get it now?”
Zach smiled with sudden understanding. He said, “Yeah! So then he is also showing that he is CRYING FOR LOVE. But wait a minute! What if it’s just a POWER trip that he’s on?”
Joshua said, “That’s still a sign that he’s CRYING FOR LOVE since he feels the need to have POWER over others. He wouldn’t need to do that if he truly felt a sense of POWER within himself. In reality, he is showing just how POWERLESS and unloved he feels by continuing to put on the pressure to do what he does, so he can feel okay.”
Zach exclaimed, “Wow! Those ideas are kind of strange but kind of cool too. So which do you think it is with Dustin, a CRY FOR LOVE or a need to feel POWERFUL?”
Joshua commented, “Probably a combination of both. Think about it a bit. His parents don’t bother to hang around when he has a party. That’s a sign right there that they probably don’t take the time to give him all the love and parenting he needs. Plus, remember he said he drinks so he can forget about all his problems. So that’s a sign once again that he is CRYING FOR LOVE or understanding because he is drinking to try to forget his worries.”
Zach said, “Okay, I am starting to understand what you are saying. But I still don’t get how to stand up to peer pressure without the guys giving me too hard of a time?”
Joshua thought for a bit. Then he said, “Well, for starters, it helps to understand that when someone is peer pressuring others to do negative stuff like drinking, smoking, drugs, or shoplifting, it is really a CRY FOR HELP. He is feeling INSECURE and unloved. Sure, they are trying to EXPRESS LOVE a little bit by sharing what they have, but mostly, it is a sign that they are unhappy or feeling UNSAFE or INSECURE.”
Just then, Dustin came up to the two guys again. He ordered, “Joshua, Zach, you need to have a beer!”
Zach got a little bit brave and he challenged, “Why?”
Dustin explained, “So you can have FUN.”
Zach said, “Dustin, that’s really nice of you to want me to have FUN. But my idea of FUN and your idea of FUN are two different things.”
Dustin asked, “What’s your idea of FUN?”
Zach smiled and said, “Drinking Pepsi and eating potato chips! You just can’t beat that combination! So thanks for having two of my favorite things! That was really great of you!”
Dustin was confused. He had been planning to pressure Zach into having a beer; but instead, here was Zach raving over being provided two of his favorite snack items. So Dustin said, “Yeah! Okay! Uh, …, Joshua, what about you? Are you ready to have a beer now?”
Chapter 4: Joshua’s Plan C
Joshua decided to try out Plan C which was to use an ‘I Message‘ as he set firm boundaries with Dustin. Joshua said, “Dustin, I am really glad to have you as a friend. Since you are my good friend, I need you to understand that I do NOT like beer. And even if I did – which I don’t, I do NOT wish to have any beer ever. I would appreciate it a lot, old buddy, if you would accept that I only plan to drink Pepsi tonight and that’s it – with no changing my mind.”
Dustin stared for awhile. Finally, he shrugged and said, “All right. Have it your way. … All the more for me and the other guys.”
The rest of the party went by with no more confrontations between Dustin and the two best friends. Joshua and Zach had a pretty good time talking with the other guys, listening to loud music, and drinking Pepsi.
The next day, Joshua filled Julie in on all the details of the party. She said, “Gosh, Josh! That was really great!”
Joshua smiled and said, “Yeah! My strategy of issuing positive peer pressure at least half worked. It at least gave me a way to get Dustin to back off. And he did!”
Julie said, “And you actually got Dustin to drink one Pepsi instead of nothing but beer. That was pretty cool!”
Joshua said, “Yeah! And I guess, …, just like I don’t want Dustin making life choices for me, I can’t make life choices for him either. He’ll live his life his way, and I’ll live mine my way. But at least, he and I can be friends.”
Joshua had learned a lot about how to be able to stand up to negative peer pressure. He knew it might be a bit scary at first, but as someone in a movie once said, “It’s not brave if you’re not scared.“
So if someone starts to pressure you to do some negative things you don’t want to do, you might want to try sending some positive peer pressure in their direction. Even if you can’t get them to do those positive things, perhaps they’ll at least stop pressuring you. And even if they keep issuing that negative peer pressure, you might at least feel strong enough to comfortably say ‘no‘. You never can tell. Sending positive peer pressure just might work for you too!
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