Life has been a whirlwind of ups and downs for me lately, so much so that every morning when I get up I find myself wondering “What is today going to bring?” The funny thing about life is that you have no control over it. You don’t know what is over the next hill and all you can do is just keep trudging along.
The 10-year anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States is today. As I was looking over some things that asked the question “How has 9/11 changed you over the last 10 years?” I pondered it.
I wasn’t in New York or Washington D.C. when the attacks occurred. I didn’t see them happen. I didn’t know anyone who died that day. I didn’t have any friends or loved ones who were in danger. I was miles removed from the horror of that day but I watched the television in tears as people jumped to their deaths, the towers fell and fear gripped an entire nation.
In 10 years’ time, what have I learned?
Ultimately, the most important lesson for me boils down to the fact that life is short and every moment should be savored and regarded as precious.
There are so many uncertainties in life and no guarantees about anything. There are also so many things to be afraid of–taking risks, making mistakes, being hurt by other people, making changes, going in different directions, trying new things.
I have always been a creature of habit–I like things the way they are. When I go to restaurants, I rarely try anything new and almost always get the same thing every time. I like things the way I like them and am not too keen on making changes. Occasionally I will rearrange furniture, color my hair or make other small changes. Those are okay, but big changes are hard for me. Stepping outside of my comfort zone is not easy for me.
I love the idea of traveling, but being away from home and doing things that I have never experienced create anxiety for me, even though I want to have new experiences. It is the anticipation and the steps up to actually “doing” that scare me away and maybe that’s just the way it is with all things and all people.
What did I learn from 9/11? It’s taken a few years but I have eventually learned to seize the day, to embrace the things and people in my life that make me happy and let go of the things that don’t. I realize that life is short and there’s no time to waste on things that make you miserable, things that don’t bring happiness.
So what do I do now? I try to re-learn every single day that every single day is precious. Sometimes I get it right and at the end of the day I can smile and fall asleep knowing it’s been a good day that I have made the best of, while other days I fall into troubled sleep reliving the mistakes. The best part though is knowing that each day is brand new and I can start fresh, having learned from yesterday’s mistakes and victories. I can make the effort to try harder, love deeper and live more fully.
That is my new life statement: Try harder, love deeper, live more fully. I wasn’t doing that before but instead I was going through the motions and just getting through each day, but 9/11 made me realize that there’s simply no time to waste and I want to end my life with a body that is worn out and a soul that is full and bursting with the joys of having truly lived.
So, that is my journey, and there’s no going back for me as I choose to pursue joy every single morning.