With a computer in 76% of the American homes, its easy to see why a predator would use this medium to lure children away from their homes. It is not easy for parents to monitor their children’s usage of a home computer. With online social chat rooms, this makes it a no brainer for someone wanting to meet and potentially harm children and teens. When you go into a chat room, you can be anybody, anywhere, any age and look like anybody you want. That is how a predator starts his quest, he can be 15 or 21, he can be whatever the situation calls for him to be.
What Type Of Child Or Teen Does A Predator Look For
A predator is looking for someone who could be lonely, have a bad relationship with family, not popular, these are some of the common traits. In reality a predator will attempt to strike up a conversation with any teen that will talk to them. The predator will feed whatever need that child may have. They may ask them if they have a picture posted and then talk about how beautiful or good-looking they are. They will get them to talk about themselves, so that the predator can pick up on any problem or trait that could help them with their goal. They will sympathize with the problems the child has, they will agree that the child is not being treated fairly, how school is a bummer, anything that will bring the child closer to them. If the child is overweight or insecure about their looks, a predator will seize the opportunity to assure them how much they love the way the child looks. With young girls these tactics can be very successful. As most of us know, in the teen years, a young girls thoughts turn to love. This predator knows that too and can use that to his advantage. What more could a insecure teen need than to hear a “boy”, tell them how beautiful they are and how much he loves them. He can convince them they are Romeo and Juliet and need to be together. The teen knows her parents are not going to accept this and here is what the lure is thrown out. The predator will tell the teen, they need to run away together, they will get married and live happily ever after. When the teen has left her home to leave with this person, some predators will turn on the teen then and some will carry on with the act. The feeling of having a young girl hanging on your every word, is a strong draw for some predators. The sad part is, many of these teens are forced into prostitution, beaten and ultimately when they are useless to the predator, they are killed. Many parents will never know what happened to their child.
What Can A Parent Do To Try And Protect Their Child
Teens being teens, it is not easy to know what they are doing on the computer. Sometimes parents are not the most popular people in a teens life. The best scenario would be to have a honest and open relationship with your teen. When this happens, a teen is much more likely to not feel the need to form a relationship with an unknown person. They are much more likely to talk to their parents about what is going on in their computer world. Now that I have spoken about the fantasy world and what it would be like, lets get to the real world. A teen who is involved in an online relationship is more likely to be secretive and very protective of that world. A teen will change how they look, act and even relate to you. You may find they are not wanting to be around the family, preferring to be on the computer. They may start dressing differently, trying to be that person that the predator has told them they are. They may start skipping school or their grades may slip because nothing is more important than that person who they feel loves them. You have to remember most teens think of first love as the one that will last forever. They cannot see their lives without this person. It is all consuming, taking all their thoughts and time. If you see your teen changing, for no apparent reason, preferring to be on the computer more and more, and avoiding you, it is time.
When You Suspect There Is Something Going On
You know your teen and only you know how it is best to approach them. It may be by just asking how they are, if anything is wrong to asking if they have heard about the chat rooms. The bottom line is, you have to decide how best to handle your teen. If your teen is in an online relationship, its usually just a matter of time before the predator asks them to leave with them. This is a war for your child. You could try and find out what name your child goes under in the chat rooms, which chat room they use and visit that chat room on your own computer to see if you can find out who your teen is talking to. If they have progressed to a “relationship” they may not be using the chat rooms, they may be using a messenger or email. It is always good to try and know your teens i.d. and password. In the real world, this is probably not going to happen. If you suspect that your teen is involved in something online, use whatever you have to, it may be your only chance to save your child. Many would say, this is an invasion of your teens privacy. I say, it could save your teens life and that is worth invading their privacy.
What Can You Do If You Are Sure Something Is Up
You have no choice but to watch your teen, this will not be easy, especially if you are a working mom. You will have to do what ever it takes to find out if this is the case. Talk to your teen, possibly show them a story about a predator and the teen he harmed. Remember also the predator may have already made you the enemy. You are the bad guy who is going to keep them apart. Its a chess game, and you have to make the next move. You may even ask them if they have met anyone, just casually, not like a prison warden, that is what will stop your teen cold, and keep the predators warning about you in their ears.
If your teen does admit that they have met someone, keep your calm. Ask them about the person, where they live, how old they are. Do not use a negative voice, most teens will shut down automatically. Ask if they have a picture, talk about how nice looking he is, even if he looks like the creep he is. If at all possible, get a copy of that picture, notice where the teen keeps it. If this person looks older than your teen says, head to the police department and see how they can help you. They may have suggestions of what can come next. Never close the door of communications with your teen, most will feel guilty about running away when you seem to be so open to this relationship. Hopefully this will happen,but with a teen in “love”, you never know. The bottom line is, you have to fight for your teen in whatever way you can. You have to fight against this person who has snared your child. Remember, its your child’s life that could be at stake.