Safety isn’t just about looking both ways before crossing the street. Being aware, being prepared and putting yourself in the best situations keeps you safer. Living alone on a college campus or moving into a big city means requires a bit of caution. Here are some rules for living on your own.
Before you sign a lease look at the neighborhood. Maybe it looks good because it is what you can afford. It doesn’t matter. You still need a decent neighborhood. One time I put a deposit down on a place that was nice and big and close to downtown. When my mother came to see it she noticed the rats and the vagrant hotel around the corner and insisted that I not move there. I’m still mad they didn’t give me back my cat deposit but she was right. Violence and other acts of insanity are real and bad things just happen more often in bad neighborhoods. That’s why they call it bad. The odds aren’t in your favor. Wait until you find a relatively safe place. Once in your new home make sure to have a deadbolt, a chain and a peephole.
Reach out to friends, older siblings of friends or old classmates. Find out where they are living. Move near them. They can tell you what kind of crime is around their area and at least there will be someone close by to join for a beer. Sure, you want to be in some up and coming danger zone- so hip! Think again. You are probably renting not buying so you don’t need to suffer the wait for the property values to appreciate. Try to live near some friends. Who is going to schlep all the way across town to a bad neighborhood to feed your cat when you go on vacation?
Learn street smarts. One friend advised me to keep a rolled up bunch of singles in my front pocket as “mugger money” so I could throw the wad one way as I ran in another direction. The idea was that the mugger will take easy cash rather than chase you down. It makes me laugh to repeat that and hopefully you will never use the trick but it probably makes you look more confident with your hand in your pocket at the ready. Confidence is important. Don’t look like the victim to choose. Evil doers are sizing everyone up for an easy potential hit. Always walk head up, conscious of who and what is around and walk purposefully. Don’t make eye contact but let them know you see them. Keep your keys in your hand splayed between your fingers. If someone dares come near, at least you can give them a good jab. Earphones make you look vulnerable because they think you can’t hear them. You don’t want to be on their radar. Stay off your cell phone too. It makes you look scared to walk by yourself and therefore, a potential victim.
Learn self defense moves. Stomping on feet when grabbed from behind and kicks to the groin are effective and give you that opportunity to run. Learn and practice in a karate, aikido or judo class. You may be little, but physics are undeniable. Ancient Greek physicist Archimedes said, “Give me a fulcrum and a place to stand and I will move the world.” These classes will teach you how to use their force to your benefit and will boost your confidence too. Try to have someone to walk with. Safety in numbers is a cliché for a reason.
Watch your handbags and pockets. Pickpockets are undetectable if they are any good at their job. Choose handbags that rest close to under your arm so no one can reach in. Choose a zipper closure over a flap. Never put your bag on the back of the chair. It is too easy to walk by and lift it off and away. I once had my wallet stolen while my purse was sitting on the floor between my feet. I don’t know how they crawled down there and got it but they did. Canceling all of your cards is a drag but a favorite photo of you and your friends from that photo booth is irreplaceable. Waist bags are rarely worn by urbanites and will get you noticed as “foreign” to the city.
In your car, drive with your doors locked. If you get car jacked they will at least have to break your window to get to you. Keep windows partially closed. Don’t make it easy for them to reach in. Where do you keep your purse? On the passenger seat? Wrong. They know you do this and reach in quickly to get it. Put it on the floor so it won’t be in the target zone. If you are being followed, drive to a police or fire station and not to your house. You don’t want them to know where you live.
After all of this you still want to live in the middle of the excitement? Good for you. Living in a city allows you to see more people in one day than you do in one year in the suburban safety zone your parents wish you would never leave. There are cultural events and a lot more jobs. Get out and learn the city. Learn the street names, the one-way streets, the fastest routes to your regular places. Taxi drivers can’t take you 20 blocks out of your way when you know where they should be going. Find out where the grocery stores and coffee shops are located. You’re going to have to eat and will likely need caffeine to keep up with all of the fun you will have living on your own.