“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Paul of Tarsus, to the Ephesians
Too much information is given these days, and people don’t really know what to pick and eventually to digest. They read thousand suggestions, ideas, thoughts, point of views, but stay hungry. Eating the whole internet based information is unwholesome. How do people get what they really need?
Let’s borrow the passion of a chef, which teach us to ensure a client gets what she wants and her need for culinary satisfaction is achieved. Learn from internal dialogues of a chef which eventually benefits the client.
Listen to Her Appetite
You have completed some research and cooked this meal hundred times before it’s offered in the menu. That’s what a master-chef does. You probably have completed your coach or counselor training and set up a unique way on how a client will be benefited best with what you do. Stay in your uniqueness. Look at menu getting popular internationally such as fondue. Why is it popular? Is it the way? Is it the origin? Is it the intimacy a fondue creates? What makes people enjoying it to the fullest, satisfying right at their need button? Great chef lays a great interest in and listens to client’s appetite. We learn that people are made of God’s image and God’s appetite is an intimate relationship. People’s basic need is always intimacy. Offer this through your understanding smile, approving eyes and grasping hands throughout the conversation. You will also be benefited from the intimacy you offer others.
Imagine the Taste
While listening, you can start imagining a taste of culinary you will present when she’s finished talking. Start with the end mind. Visualize what intimacy she would really enjoy and take as an answer to her situation. Most of the times, answers don’t arise from the situation. Bring your imagination out of the box. When you sense a rejection and capture a longing to be accepted in her, you know she wants to taste how an acceptance is like. Offer this through your warming embrace. When life has been too tough on her, she might push you away. Don’t take this personal, she could be too hurting to be loved. However, stick in how it will be like to her when she finally tastes what she really needs.
Determine the Ingredients
Sort a list of ingredients. Determine the kind of protein she needs to taste or the kind of vegetable to flavor. She would probably be happy when she knows her worth, her gifts and her purpose. Drag down anything that will satisfy her basic needs. I wish I can create software full of significant words that I may just tick while she is speaking. But God has inbuilt us The Spirit of Wisdom as our Inner Software who process the information and deliver the answer. Does she long to be confident? Sort key words like predestined, precious, honored, loved, made righteous, acceptable, admirable, praiseworthy.
Prepare the Ingredients
A pinch of salty encouragement will lift up enthusiasm. Prepare just enough portion of the protein for the moment. A hundred grams of meat might be too heavy to take. Chop it into smaller bites. Three to five best ingredients in a small plate would be exactly what she needs in that particular moment. Does she need contentment? Shifting her focus to recognize one gift God has for her could be the right sensation in her tongue of heart. Focusing her thought into one thing she zealously do would fill up the emptiness.
Cook Passionately
When she is done explaining her situation, it doesn’t give you permission to hit the ball and home run. However, it’s your time to lead and cook the ingredients. Throw her questions that reveal her worth, values, inspiration, gifts. Lead the questions in a voice that transmit hope, enlarge vision, strengthen faith and exhibit intimacy. Stir them passionately in her frying pan of life. Let her fill her mind and heart with hopeful thoughts and great feelings. Choosing to talk in this arena would keep you away from being judgmental and stay curious. Darkness cannot be friends with light. Converse the light.
Serve Objectively
The world has given her unwholesome talk, articles, news, ideas or information and none brings benefit. Wrap up your conversation in a quotation that is building her. Serve objectively, which means, put objective in the plate. She needs to bring home an impression. Her situation has defeated her and that is the reason she comes to you. She needs to move the power from her situation to herself. Therefore, ask her how she feels when she is talking about her strength. Do you catch a gleam? At the closure, you may conclude, “If you don’t fit into the current perspective toward the situation, it simply means you are created to fit into another. In our next meeting, let’s discover more of the perspective you are born to live for and be benefited by.”