It hurts to be lied to by someone you love and trust. When you find that your partner has lied to you it poisons the relationship. You begin to question every sweet and enduring word you have heard in the past. It doesn’t matter if it is a small lie or a “relationship breaker,” the lie inflicts a searing wound on your soul. A violation of trust is painful and frustrating.
You are deeply in love with your partner and committed to the relationship. The first time you find yourself making excuses for the deception and forgiving the lie. The relationship continues, yet the doubt remains. When you catch your partner in a second or third lie, you have to face the fact that your are in love with a liar.
When trust is destroyed, the relationship may be damaged beyond repair. However, because you love this person, it hurts your heart to consider saying goodbye. You hang on, with the faint hope that the relationship will heal. He will not lie to you ever again. You want to believe that. You justify the violation of your trust by making excuses to yourself. You tell yourself that behind the lies he is really a good person and he does love you. Who are you kidding?
When a partner lies to you, it is because he does not truly respect you. If he is willing to violate your trust, his actions tell you that he is not as committed to the relationship as you are. A healthy and nurturing relationship can never be based on lies. You make more excuses to yourself in an attempt to regain your self respect. You tell your self it wasn’t a big lie, its not that important.
There are, of course, all kinds of lies; little lies, white lies, big lies and whoppers. It doesn’t matter. A lie is a lie. If your partner is willing to lie to you about little things, be assured he will employ deception on the larger issues that can corrode the very core of your relationship.