I have learned some lessons in life by trial and error, we all have. Sometimes I read about someone else learning a lesson and I can relate to their experience. I may have to use my imagination or simply just plain, common sense to understand. Most lessons can be summarized by the famous golden rule; “treat others as we wish to be treated.” Well I follow this rule as best as I can: I say “bless you” when strangers sneeze, I help others with their problems and work. I work responsibly, I drive responsibly, I don’t hold grudges, I don’t judge, I happily offer the benefit of the doubt, I don’t over-react. And I have come to find that people who honor the golden rule, like me, speak the same language. We may acknowledge missed opportunities for kindness, and courtesy. Or we may model behavior that reflects the golden rule. It is reassuring to know our considerateness is appreciated.
Recently, at work, I became the victim of very poor manners and it has taught me a great lesson about humility and sympathy. Everyone forgives the bad mannered coworker who leaves a mess in the staff room, or the guy who uses up all of the paper in the copy machine but does not fill it back up. But do you know who is not forgiven..? The guy cheating on his wife. I can’t tell you how rude, judgmental, unfriendly and isolating colleagues, who I see on a daily basis, can be.
I have come to terms with my behavior and make no more apologies. This experience has made me think about other people we work with everyday who like me, have made huge personal mistakes. It seems everyone is waiting to be relieved of our presence, but the alcoholic, the petty thief, the liar, the egomaniac, the chronic mis-user of the internet…your welcome! The ones who come in late, or not at all, the ones who don’t shower often enough, have public, inappropriate conversations complete with lewd and disgusting details — fear not, you’re not as unforgiveable as I.
To make matters even more complicated, I am the most efficient and professional employee in my department. I don’t waste company time. I don’t blame my mistakes on others. I am polite and well-informed. I am loyal and hard working, I clearly lead by example. But my personal life was dragged into my work by a jerk-ass, gossipy bitch that soon after violated his parole and ended up back in jail for a sleuth of charges he was incarcerated for in the first place. He used to ask me for help with his work.
I’ll ask about your vacation, your day off, even how your lunch was. If you mention your mom is sick I’ll ask about her later. I’ll edit your resume, buy candy for your kid’s fundraiser, and hand you your fax from off the machine. Now, I am an effigy, a cathartic, magnetic recipient of negative energy that makes everyone feel better about themselves. Tomorrow they will again do as little work as possible, compensating for their unfulfilled lives by performing poorly at work, and dragging down as much as possible.
So lesson learned. I continue to work hard, be polite, and bite my tongue. I make a fresh, strong impression with every inevitable replacement of my co-workers. I will help you when you need it, but if I know you are having a tough time I will also offer a ray of hope.