The Importance of Chemistry in a Relationship

by on January 25th, 2015
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Before we discuss the importance of chemistry in a relationship, we have to know exactly what it is. Chemistry is in the details, it’s the flow and rhythm of the conversation and the sense of connectedness with your interactions. A couple with chemistry can enjoy each other’s company and express themselves freely, it’s about being comfortable and not needing to ‘put on airs’ to please each other. It’s a mutual state of mind that’s almost impossible to lose once you have it.

This is of course an acquired trait- it’s pretty much unheard of that a couple has immediate chemistry. No one really teaches guys how to ask a girl out (or vice versa), the nervousness of that first romantic advance often lingers for a while as you get accustomed to each other. The main obstacle to chemistry for new couples is the urge to impress each other. You know- being overly agreeable to avoid conflicts, hiding your inadequacies, holding in your farts, the dreaded ‘first impression’ stage.

But that stage will peter off soon enough and eventually you’ll have a steady relationship on your hands. As you spend more and more time with each other you get to know the other person on an intimate level, which means you become very good at reading their conversational cues and body language. Chemistry usually comes naturally over time as you both get in tune with each other, after a while you can usually tell what your partner’s reaction will be to something before you say it, which means you can steer conversations in more interesting directions without fear of alienating them.

So why is chemistry important in terms of a long-lasting and healthy relationship? Because it’s impossible to be happy spending so much time with another person when you don’t feel comfortable around them. Being able to say what’s on your mind is an essential part of any relationship, couples without chemistry tend to hold back in certain areas, whether romantic, sensual, or otherwise, and eventually those things will come back to bite them.

Chemistry doesn’t mean agreeing about everything and it certainly doesn’t mean sharing every single hobby and interest of your partner, it means being able to express yourself around them no matter what’s on your mind without hesitation, it means developing a relationship where silence is as a comfortable as a lively debate, it means approaching each other with a pretense of openness and comfort. No relationship can last long without chemistry, it will eventually buckle under the weight of its tension.


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