Valentines Day can be dangerous and it certainly is not for the faint of heart. The so-called innocent safety of a primary school classroom is where a young girl’s heart can be ripped raw by not getting the right card from the right boy. And if she did, it was most likely signed by his mother, and at least three other girls got the same card from the Kmart variety pack. Trust me, if mama is micromanaging his social life this early, he’ll have lifelong issues.
Numerous relationships have proven that Stupid Cupid is not the best shot, brandishing that Ted Nugent-esque bow, missing so many good targets. And why doesn’t someone put a blanket on that naked baby? It’s friggin’ cold on February 14th!
Nonetheless, sometimes that l’il bugger gets it right. After Cupid shot an arrow through our hearts, my hubby and I pegged Valentines Day as our dating anniversary, and later on we also chose to marry in late February. So, despite the danger, we celebrate!
Living for years in Los Angeles, so many parts of the fair “City of Angels” (no wonder that weapon-wielding cherub loves to loiter there) serve as backdrop to many a romantic comedy. Yet when you’ve got an excuse to get out of town for some well deserved romance, you take it. And if you and your spouse survive getting to your destination, through all the traffic jams without contemplating divorce or second degree murder, you’re the most saintly Valentine of all-
To celebrate our seventh year of marriage, my darling husband had booked us at a wonderful spot in the mountains with marvelous little cabins, each lavishly decorated in a different romantic kitchy theme. He reserved a romantic Alpine storybook “tree house”, fifteen feet off the ground, surrounded by century old pine trees. The gorgeous deck was covered in snow, in which he placed a bottle of my favorite champagne to chill. How romantic AND green of him. We went inside, and were taken back in time looking at the beautifully carved ceiling beams and details. The main room also featured a giant faux apple tree, home to the stuffed woodland animals and fairies (no, I’m not kidding). Then there was a sleeping loft situated above a lovely fireplace and hot tub. The hot tub, carved out of the surrounding “rock”, drew our immediate attention as we had such a long drive. My valentine offered to build a fire while I slipped into something less comfortable. And you ladies know what I mean…my suitcase was full of fabulous, yet uncomfortable lingerie.
Popping into the dressing area to freshen up, I primped, pushed, pulled and padded everything into the right place, stuffing myself into a pink satin number with matching satin high heels and glossy lipstick. I slide the door open, about to strike an alluring pose, ready to make the entrance of an Valentine’s Day/ Anniversary lifetime, but am instead struck with several forceful blasts of water, leaving my lingerie wet and water stained, and my libido as cold as the champagne left outside.
Turns out my darling turned on the jacuzzi jets before the water line was at the right height, dousing out both the fire and my desire.
And those satin shoes? Well, they were never the same.