So the geniuses at the University of Virginia and Seattle Children’s Hospital have concluded that SpongeBob SquarePants, the fun loving energetic resident of Bikini Bottom, is detrimental to the development of your child.
Really?
The study, which does not necessarily indict the creators of SpongeBob, but does not take them off the hook (had to say ‘hook’), concluded the 22-minute episodes of everyone’s favorite sea sponge may debilitate mental function. In this independently conducted study, approximately 60 children were randomly chosen to watch 9-minute segments of SpongeBob SquarePants or “Caillou”, or asked to draw pictures.
Needless to say, the children who viewed SpongeBob’s nine minute segment fared worse at mental functioning exercises than their counterparts.
Thus, call the authorities, SpongeBob is a villain.
I will confess that I am not an authority on children’s television. However, given I have children (my boy is 12, my girl 9) I remember Caillou. The title character is about as exciting as a loaf of bread. Even watching five minutes as a ‘concerned parent who wanted to know what their kids were experiencing’ made me feel brain dead. Yes, four year olds have slower functioning brains, and children’s programing needs to maintain a certain pace to enable learning, however, Caillou is one boring kid. In the world of childrens’ television, watching Caillou over SpongeBob is the equivalent of an adult choosing a Paul Simon concert over Lady Gaga. In other words, you are a nerd.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for children needing ‘down time’. There is a certainly a necessity for reading, slowly paced learning games, and quiet hours. But somehow accusations (as a fan myself, I do consider them accusations) of SpongeBob being ‘bad’ for children strikes me as over the top and just plain ridiculous.
What’s next? The Fairly Odd Parents are Communists for not treating Wanda and Cosmo with enough personal dignity?
If any parent is concerned with SpongeBob, Patrick Star, or the antics of such a fast-pace cartoon there is a simple remedy – once each episode ends, sit with your child for some quiet discussion regarding what the cartoon was about. Ask them about the specific episode and share a laugh or two with your child.
As for the University of Virginia, I would like to ask whether or not any tax dollars were granted for this study.
Then again, I probably don’t want to know.