Dating is difficult and, at times, a bit depressing. It can be very discouraging if you don’t have the right expectations. As a single woman, all of your decisions affect you exclusively, but when you have kids, you are actually dating for them as well. You want to pick someone who’s going to fit your children’s lifestyle and personality as well. Therefore, you have to sit down and figure a few things out before you take off into the wild world of dating . Here are a few things to consider when dating with kids.
Are your children ready for a new man in their lives? I know that sounds like an odd question, but if you’ve just recently separated from their dad or if you’re still hashing out complicated parenting details with their father, now may not be the time. Remember, your children need time to heal after the break-up, as do you. Help them come to terms with the break-up and then decide if it’s appropriate to bring in someone new. What kind of man will fit both you and your kids’ lifestyle? You can no longer date him because he looks good. If you are looking to date someone for more than casual fun, you need to make sure he’s a good fit. Take a long look at your lifestyle. Are your children involved in a particular sport or activity? Do any of your children suffer from a particular illness? You want to choose a guy who is comfortable with and understanding of your lifestyle. As a single parent, sometimes what you need most is support. Do you still have baby daddy baggage? If you are still arguing with your baby daddy at every pick and drop off, if he still comes by for some “love,” you don’t want to bring a new man into the picture. Not only will this add extra confusion and stress in your life and mind, it will also confuse your children. Are you ready to date again? Have you asked yourself if you’re ready and why? Yes, most of us date because we’re lonely, but some of us keep someone in our lives to hide pain and issues that we need to deal with alone. Resolve your issues before you bring someone into your life. When children are introduced to someone new and that person is forced to leave, the children are affected in a negative way. You want to avoid that painful exit by ensuring he’s entering for the right reasons.
Being single with children is very difficult. Many days all you want is a shoulder to cry on and someone to support you, but things take time. Take a moment and think things through because the wrong man is worse than no man.