Roses Vs. Peanut Butter

Julia decides to stop at the drugstore before heading home. She still needs red and white tissue paper for tomorrow’s art project. Her third graders will create a Valentine’s collage to add to the hallway’s decorations. She goes straight to the gift-wrap section and tries to avoid glancing at the Valentine’s isle. It is her second year without the significant other. Although she is healing, all this craziness about love is nibbling away on her heart.

She cuts a long piece of paper from the big roll that usually leans in the corner of her classroom. The kids already moved desks together, so everyone can find a spot around the unfinished collage. Julia knew that Henry would leave his school box at home. She gets out extra glue, a pair of scissors and markers. Henry thanks her and smiles. Julia wonders if he intentionally put on two different color socks, or if he is colorblind. She watches him work and reminds him to put the caps back on the markers. Already, his finders look like rainbows and the glue stick dangles off his sleeve. Henry is messy and forgetful. Julia wonders what will ever become of him.

The evening news begins and Julia settles down on her couch. Hallmark is sponsoring the program. The commercials target people who are hopelessly in love. Julia watches other women receive flowers, diamonds and perfume. They are all very happy as they read their lovers’ Valentine cards. Disturbing and sad thoughts enter Julia’s mind. She remembers the face, the hands, the eyes, the lips, the voice. “No,” she thinks, “I will not dwell on this tonight.” She changes the channel and only finds more Valentine’s Day advertisements. “Enough,” she says, “I will get through tomorrow and then life is back to normal.” She turns the TV off, grabs a magazine and reads until her eyes grow heavy.

Julia takes a deep breath and counts to ten as she enters the teacher’s lounge. The scent of flowers is overwhelming. Roses, roses, and more roses. She painfully wonders if she is the only one here who did not receive a lover’s bouquet. She quietly listens as her colleagues share their plans for this evening. It takes everything she has not to burst into tears. “Oh, my God, will this pain ever go away?”

Her students are ready to exchange their little value box of Valentine cards. She digs in her bag to find the box she purchased for Henry. However, he surprises her when he takes out a stack of envelopes from his backpack. A rubber band holds them all together. Henry remembered! He hands one out to every student in the class. The biggest envelope goes to her, the teacher. “Don’t read it until you get home, ok?” he says. Julia stuffs all the cards and pieces of candy into her bag. She hugs and kisses every child when school dismisses at three o’clock. Not in the mood to hear any more Valentine stories, she avoids the teachers’ lounge and drives straight home. She is relieved to know the day is over. She exhales and looks forward to tomorrow.

As she fumbles around in her purse to find her keys, Henry’s card sticks out. She sits down on her front porch and opens the envelope. She shakes her head about the peanut butter stain at the corner of the card. Although she was strong all day, the floodgates open now. Her tears mix with the peanut butter as she reads, “Ms. Julia, will you wait for me, so I can marry you?” Julia looks up and says, “Thank you, God, for Henry.”


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