Author’s note: Ask The Dad will be taking a Thanksgiving hiatus. Please enjoy today’s column, and we’ll be back Monday, Nov. 28.
Question
I have lived in a pretty nice neighborhood for many years. Earlier this year, a family moved in a couple doors down. Their kids play in our yard and hit our windows with footballs. We have talked with the parents, but they do not listen. The kids now throw the ball into our yard on purpose. What should I do?
Answer
Start by not getting so angry. Yes, the kids should leave you alone and stay out of your yard. But realistically, if the parents don’t enforce neighborliness, few children will change their behavior on their own.
You have a few options, all of which escalate the conflict.
If you live in a subdivision with a homeowners association, you could talk to the HOA about the kids’ conduct. Depending on the nature of the association’s leaders, the group may choose to take action on your behalf.
You could put up a fence with a gate that locks, then jealously guard your privacy, confiscating anything that sails in over the fence. Such conduct will not endear you to the local children, but over time it will probably convince them to leave you alone.
You could get a large dog and an underground electronic fence that allows it to roam your front lawn.
You could tell the parents that you’ll call the police when the kids make noise, then actually call the police when the kids make noise. Of course, making noise comes naturally to children, and unless they harass you or damage your property, they are probably not breaking any laws.
Any of these tactics could solve your problem. But all of them potentially create even worse problems. Sometimes the best course of action is to do nothing, to learn to live with some inconvenience for the sake of maintaining peace. Only you can determine whether it is worth the trouble to take action.
Question
Is fear of obesity leading parents to kill or harm their children? Should babies and toddlers be on restricted-calorie diets? Is obesity the worst thing to happen to a person?
Answer
Let me start from the end.
No, obesity is not the worst thing that can happen. The health problems connected with obesity are well-documented (if you want to know more, check out this overview from the World Health Organization ), and only fools knowingly allow their children to become obese if they can prevent it. However, children get cancer and lose limbs in auto accidents every day. On the grand scale, obesity is not at the top of the list of health woes that afflict children.
Barring a medical condition that requires a controlled nutritional intake, parents should not put children on restricted-calorie diets. But neither should they allow kids to eat whatever they want. Some kids stop eating when they are no longer hungry. Others do not, and a responsible parent will stop serving when the child has moved beyond the hungry stage and has begun to eat simply to enjoy the taste of the food. How can you tell a kid has reached that point? Offer him more veggies, rather than more macaroni. If he decides to eat the vegetables, let him. If not, he doesn’t need any more food.
Lastly, some parents have indeed taken the quest for health too far and put children on unusual diets that can stress the metabolism of an adult and actually endanger kids. Forget about diets. Instead, focus on basic nutrition. Focus on vegetables, whole grains, fruit, and lean meat or beans. Don’t limit kids to extremely small portions. Instead, allow them to eat a reasonable amount of healthy food. For some dietary recommendations from the American Heart Association, click here .
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